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Click on credit links below each pic, for licensing names/details/tags/etc.. Most pics cropped/reduced in size

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It was afternoon, about ten days since my atheism came to a screeching halt.

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The past ten days made me feel as though the world had become some Hellish–House-of-Horrors! I had met this spirit-being, or rather, he manifested himself to me one fateful night. And I had been reduced to a proverbial “puddle of liquid” as I fearfully listened to the Comedian and his ‘Omen of Doom’ for the world (i.e., his comedy album). 

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I had the most cruel trick played on me by the spirits, thinking I was one of the chosen-few for Heaven: only then to discover I was actually one of the unfortunate-many, destined for Hell…Eternal Hell!

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Devil and Hell’s Torment – Polyptyque de la Vanité terrestre et de la Rédemption céleste-Hans Memling – cropped photo by this website – Photo by Rama for Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 France license

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“NOTHING IS REAL”

(Lyrics from the 1967 John Lennon song, “Strawberry Fields Forever”)

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More than this, I was being frightened beyond belief over the prospects of spending an eternity of torment by Hell’ Angels (no, not the motorcycle gang)!

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And if that wasn’t enough, I was going in and out of these hellish, nightmarish…uhhh…illusions…if they were indeed illusions; illusions that people were some sort of imaginary images conjured up to taunt and mock and torment me till my heart burst right out of my chest, or perhaps to torture me until forever-and-a-day!

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Devil and Hell’s Torment – Polyptyque de la Vanité terrestre et de la Rédemption céleste-Hans Memling – cropped photo by this website – Photo by Rama for Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 France license

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SPIRIT VERY CHANGEABLE

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Then of course, the nightclub experience, in which I was told that the world was coming to an abrupt fiery end…which it didn’t come to an end, after all. 

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So this was all really confusing because I was getting conflicting messages…at times being told I was one of the lucky saved ones…and then at other times I was one of the UNlucky doomed ones.

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But what could I do? There was absolutely nothing I COULD do! Someone else was in charge. I guess that famous one-liner really puts it well. You know the one-liner from a certain movie… “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night.”

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But now I’ll share with you just a few of the most memorable moments of these netherworld torments which occurred on this, the tenth day…

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Devil and Hell’s Torment – Polyptyque de la Vanité terrestre et de la Rédemption céleste-Hans Memling – cropped photo by this website – Photo by Rama for Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 France license

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CHAPTER 10:

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“LEFT BEHIND”  

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“WHO–WHO–WHO WROTE THIS BOOK OF LOVE?!!” …

(corruption of the 1957 song, “Who Wrote The Book Of Love?” by The Monotones)

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A friend came by to take me to see one of her friends.

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She drove me over to one of her church-member’s house. We parked in front of a nice older home in one of the nicer, older sections of Klamath. A well-dressed, white-haired lady answered the door, and asked us in. Then after a few moments of introduction, this elderly lady brought out a Bible. She took the very large Bible, opening it up to the first chapter. She had me read the very first verse, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” And then she had me read the following line, “And God said, ‘Let US make man in OUR image, after OUR likeness.’” And this nice lady then conveyed the idea that there were many gods.

(This particular version of the Bible may have even said “The Gods [plural] said, ‘Let US make man in OUR image, after OUR likeness.’” But I’m not sure if it did or not)

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

The Scream of Nature – by E. Munch – Wikipedia – public domain by edvard munch c.1893

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“AND GOD SAID, ‘LET US’!?!”

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Now I knew I was indeed, in Hell!

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I didn’t know hardly anything about the Bible. “BUT I DO KNOW THAT THERE AREN’T MULTIPLE GODS!!! WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!? WHO WROTE THIS BIBLE?!?” These were the kinds of thoughts which were running, no, RAGING through my head at the moment!

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So how could there be a Bible which said there were multiple gods!? Obviously I must be in Hell, and this was the Devil’s counterfeit, “Bible from Hell”!

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After all, I attended church as a little boy. I listened to the stories in the children’s classes. So if there was one thing I learned, it was that the world was made by one God, and only one God! Not by many gods! So more and more I was sinking lower and lower into a fiery abyss. And though there were no literal flames, these spiritual flames were every bit as painful!

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(If only I had been familiar with the Bible, I would have realized that God speaks of Himself as three persons, and yet as one, just as this verse reveals…“For there are Three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost: and these Three are One.” 1st John 5:7 If I had only known this blessed truth, I would have been spared a whole lot of grief and torment at this moment!)

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The Gods – Francesco Albani – Apollo and Hermes (1635) – Wikimedia – US Public Domain

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“NOTHING IS REAL, AND NOTHING MUCH TO GET HUNG ABOUT!”

(corruption of lyrics from the 1967 Beatles song, “Strawberry Fields Forever”)

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As we were leaving this lady’s home, we got on to Kit Carson Way. Normally, I would be really enjoying this nice fall weather (even though it was foggy on this particular day). Fall in the Basin, is very beautiful. And bright red, orange, and yellow leaves are everywhere!

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Klamath Basin has almost no spring, merely winter into summer. But the Fall here in the Basin, is very long and crisp and pretty nice, quite often.

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But right now, this beautiful fall season was the last thing on my mind! And after this shocking encounter with that “Bible from Hell” (or so I erroneously believed), I was really thinking that, yes, I was in Hell! Eternal Hell! But I couldn’t be sure!

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Anyway, as soon as we were on Kit Carson Way, a siren went off. And in the rear-view mirror, was a State Trooper. My friend pulled her car over, and waited in the car for the Trooper to come up. 

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Now I’ll have to say, my friend was a very gifted conversationalist. So it wasn’t long before the two were laughing and joking. 

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

rocky point oregon – wikimedia – share-alike license

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“THEIR FACES SHALL BE AS FLAMES”

Isaiah 13:8

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But forget all that! Because, as soon as they began talking, I immediately sank into some sort of so-called “paranoia” or “psychosis”, in which they appeared to be talking about the Hell I was going through! It was as if they knew all about my dire situation! And as they kept the conversation going, they began to appear as if they were some sort of spirit beings! And if that wasn’t enough, it was almost as if their faces were flames of fire, maybe! 

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Now faces being as flames, reminds me of a passage from the Bible, which prophesies… “they shall be amazed one at another; their faces shall be as flames. Behold, the day of the LORD cometh, cruel both with wrath and fierce anger, to lay the land desolate: and he shall destroy the sinners thereof out of it.” Isaiah 13:8, 9. Of course, this passage from Isaiah might be speaking of some completely different circumstance. But it sure seems to describe what I saw!

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I wondered if they were not really human, but merely two evil angels from Hell. Or maybe just imaginary figures. I couldn’t tell! It was almost as if they were computer-generated cartoon-like figures.

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And they kind-of just talked as if everything was a joke. Like they knew all about my situation, and they were kind-of snickering behind my back, at my hellish situation!

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“Maybe I’m actually in Hell”, I thought to myself, as I sat in the passenger seat, listening to these “people”, or whatever they were.

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CLASSIC CASE OF PARANOIA? JUST ASK OL’ SIGGY!

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Now I realize this all sounds like a classic case of extreme Paranoia.

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Just ask ol’ Siggy! He’ll tell you!

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But I was so far down into whatever a psychiatrist wishes to call this… “Psychosis”… “Hallucination”…”Paranoia”… “Delusion”…”Batty in the Belfry”.

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Whatever one wants to label it. I’ll simply call it, “tormented with fire and brimstone”, thank you!

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Looking back, I’m reminded of that verse from Amos…

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Listen to Amos… “Woe unto you that desire the day of the LORD!

to what end is it for you? the day of the LORD is darkness, and not light.

As if a man did flee from a lion, and a bear met him;

or went into the house, and leaned his hand on the wall, and a serpent bit him.”

Amos 5:18, 19

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This verse, had I known it back then, would have explained my situation very precisely. Oh, not in a literal sense. But figuratively, I was being chased, and being bitten by a serpent! And there was no-where I could escape for relief. My judgment had come. There was no turning back! There was no-where to run! And definitely no-place in which to hide! Perhaps, if I went to sleep, my dreams would only terrify me…

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“When I say, My bed shall comfort me, my couch shall ease my complaint;

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Then you (God) scare me with dreams, and terrify me through visions:

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So that my soul chooses strangling, and death rather than my life.”

Job 7:13-15

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Sigmund-Freud-LIFE-wikipedia-US-public-domain

DEMONS-wikipedia – US-public-domain

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“WE WRESTLE NOT AGAINST FLESH & BLOOD”

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After this conversation, the trooper let her go…without a ticket. Then my friend resumed driving me home.

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Shortly, we arrived at my house, and she dropped me off. I can’t remember what was said on this ride home, but perhaps, it seemed like everything was said in order to torment me further. So whatever it was…I interpreted as very directed towards my condemnation…or should I say…my damnation.

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After getting out at my house, my nice friend drove away. I call her nice, because she was only trying to help. My problem was not with her, nor with any other human for that matter. My problem was with unseen powers…

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“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood,

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but against principalities,

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against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world,

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against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

Ephesians 6:12

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I walked up to my front door thinking about that Bible which the lady had shown me, “make man in OUR likeness…after OUR image…”?  Was that Bible I was shown, the Devil’s Bible? Could I be in Hell? Or maybe some sort of Purgatory? Or are these just devils in human form—sent to torment me?

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(As I have already stated earlier in this chapter, this particular version of the Bible may have even said “The Gods [plural] said, ‘Let US make man in OUR image, after OUR likeness.’” But I’m not sure if it did or not) 

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Saint francis borgia – exorcism – wikipedia public domain

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“THE RAPTURE…ONE TIN SOLDIER RIDES AWAY”

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By the time my friend dropped me off at home, I realized I was still on earth. My hellish terrors had subsided for the moment, as I recall.

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But I was totally unprepared for the next horror which was about to sweep over me!

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Still reduced to a ‘puddle of liquid’ from the previous experience, I entered my front door, and saw that no one was there. I don’t know how long it might be till another wave of terror would sweep over me…

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You see, the entire west side of this house was made up of tall windows. And as I walked into the house I quickly noticed that a thick fog outside the windows was now blanketing the entire city below. And as I looked, seeing absolutely nothing but that thick layer of fog below, the overwhelming fear came upon me that everyone had disappeared from off the Earth—everyone but me! 

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View on the Sun above the fog – Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license.

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“GO AHEAD AND HATE YOUR NEIGHBOR”

(lyric from the 1971 song, “One Tin Soldier Rides Away”)

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“Could it be?” I thought, “Did the Rapture occur?”. And so I got on the phone and called the restaurant, but the line was busy. Could everyone at the restaurant be gone? Is the phone just dangling off the hook in the empty buffet? Everyone raptured—and I was left behind?

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And so this new wave of terror flooded my soul! Had the Rapture already happened!?

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I suppose I turned on the radio to hear some human voice.

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And while this chilling thought (of being left behind) shot through my veins, a song was just now playing on the radio. I stopped cold in my tracks to listen…

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“Go ahead and hate your neighbor…go ahead and cheat a friend…

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“Do it in the name of Heaven…You can justify it in the end…

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“There won’t be any trumpets blowin’…on the Judgment Day…

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“On the bloody mornin’ after-r-r-r…one tin soldier rides away…”

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Now I understood that this song was for me. Yes, I was guilty of hating my neighbor! Yes, I was guilty of cheating a friend! Adultery, beating people down on house prices, cheating on taxes, etc….

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

 (Click either link). Paul Gustave Dore_Raven1 grim reaper wikipedia PUB. DOM.

Compiègne Musée Figurine – wikimedia – share-alike license

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LEFT BEHIND

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Was I left behind? Was I doomed to walk the desolate Earth—the only person remaining in an empty world? That one tin soldier was me! I was destined to roam through an empty world, till I finally returned to dust! And then only to wake up in Hell…for ever and ever and ever and ever…for all eternity! Tormented with fire and brimstone!

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“…And the smoke of their torment ascends up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receives the mark of his name.” Revelation 14:11

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This song on the radio (“One Tin Soldier”) was like a Dear John letter written to me by God Himself. I was left behind! I was forsaken! The entire world was raptured away! Whisked away in one fate-filled moment of time! “Oh-h-h No-o-o!!!”

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Compiègne Musée Figurine – cropped image – wikimedia – share-alike license

 (Click either link). Paul Gustave Dore_Raven1 grim reaper wikipedia PUB. DOM.

 

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WORLD HAD NOT YET SHUT COMPLETELY DOWN

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I thought about… “why is the radio playing songs, if the Rapture has really occurred?”. Then I remembered that this station was recently converted into being a fully automated station! All song selections were done by computer! “So there probably isn’t anyone at the station!”, I thought. So this radio station was likewise void of human life! Now merely some computer, only playing songs designed to torment me! Oh the terror I was now going through cannot be described with words!

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(EDITOR’S NOTE: I probably didn’t know the name “Rapture”, as I was not connected at all with Christianity up to this point. But on the other hand, I had possibly heard this term used during those years. I just can’t remember.)

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Radio studio of WBNI, showing console wikimedia public domain

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“BLUER THAN BLUE, SADDER THAN SAD!”

(lyrical line from the 1978 song “Bluer Than Blue”)

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I once more looked out the windows, straining to see something down there below: anything that pierced through that thick cloud which had spread itself over the city below. Maybe a car…or a person. Anyone! But there was nothing! There was nobody! I then went to the front door, to maybe see a person in the neighborhood…but no one! The street was empty. Nobody in their yard.

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Another song began playing on the auto-controlled FM station…

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“Bluer than blue…sadder than sad…

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“You’re the only light this empty room has ever had…

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“Life without you, is gonna be—bluer than blue.”

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“…And when you’re gone…I can run through the house screaming

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“And no one will ever hear me…I really should be glad…

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But still I’m bluer than blue…”

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

The Scream of Nature – wikipedia – US public domain

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MY SELFISH, SELFISH WAYS!

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Hearing these chilling words frightened me beyond belief! I immediately thought about how badly I treated some of the young ladies in my life. I was always looking to get something new! Never satisfied with what I had! Always wanting more! Adultery ran through my veins! And now it was my Judgment! Now I was all alone!

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Now I could run through the house screaming!

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I could even run through the neighborhood screaming!

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I could run through the entire world! And no one would ever hear me!

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Alone forever! Doomed to walk through an empty planet! Time would be meaningless!

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All the possessions that I cared so much about, but no one to share them with! The degree of terror which I now was experiencing, was totally off the charts!

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They had all been raptured away! Just one tin soldier left behind! Me!

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Maybe this was Hell?

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My Hell!!!

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“There won’t be any trumpets blowing

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On that Judgment Day…

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On the bloody morning after—

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One tin soldier rides away.”

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me.

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But how could this be? How could all these songs be such fiery bullets shooting into my soul? There were no trumpets sounding at this moment! But only the cruel silence of eternal separation from God, blaring louder than any earthly trumpet! Much, much louder!

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I’m not sure how long all this went on. Long enough for a very pointed and terrifying and very real drama to occur. One which I’ll never forget! I can still visualize this horrific scenario, and the abject terror consuming my soul at that horrifying moment!

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The Scream – wikipedia – US public domain

sand – desert – Persistence of Memory – Salvador Dali – Wikigallery – Public Domain

Compiègne Musée Figurine – wikimedia – share-alike license

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IT WAS ALL IN MY MIND!!!

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After a while, I decided to try again to reach the restaurant. I reached for the phone. I dialed the restaurant phone number. The calling tones sound. A voice answers, “Hello, ‘The North Chuckwagon Restaurant”’—May I help you?” .

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And so I realized that this was not the Rapture after all! But that didn’t mean I wasn’t in trouble! BIG TROUBLE!

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Yes, even though this moment of terror was all in my mind. Yet it burnt down to the very depths of my soul like a fiery giant brimstone/hailstone/ball-of-fire from Heaven!

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“And there fell upon men a great hail out of heaven, every stone about the weight of a talent: and men blasphemed God because of the plague of the hail; for the plague thereof was exceeding great.” Revelation 6:21 

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buffet – wikimedia – share-alike license

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To go to Chapter 10, just click here…

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Ch. 11: Welcome Back…Hotter!

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My second trip to the “Ward 3600″ did not go quite as smoothly as the first trip.

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Click on image credit links below each photo, for licensing names, details, and tags, etc.. Most Images cropped & reduced in size.

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Okay, so now it was about Friday…or maybe it was Saturday.

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Anyway it was the eighth day or thereabouts, after discovering just what a deluded fool I was, all these years…regarding my atheistic leanings. Now I found myself in some sort of spiritual realm in which unseen beings were orchestrating every moment of my past eight days.

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And let me tell you! If there’s one thing that’ll squeeze every last drop of Darwinian-Atheism out of you, this’d be it! Yeah, it’s really hard to maintain one’s atheism, when unseen beings are all playing Soccer-Ball with you! And you’re their soccer ball!!!

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Or as my dad’s baseball analogy joke, they were, “using me as First-Base!” Yeah, Dad’s joke was correct!

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But this was no joke!

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It was for real!!!

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The Scream of Nature – by E. Munch – Wikipedia – public domain by edvard munch c.1893

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And now I had just been released from spending 4 or 5 days in the Kookoo’s nest. Well I’ll try not to call it the “Kookoo’s Nest” anymore. Oh yeah, there were one or two patients who could be classified as “Kookoo” (three, counting me, of course!). But most all the patients were suffering from very dramatic and sad hopelessness, and physical and spiritual difficulties beyond their ability to cope with.

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So anyway, I was discharged.

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CHAPTER 8:

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“BORN FREE?”…

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NO STRAIGHT-JACKET OR LOBOTOMY

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As I said, I was discharged from the hospital, because I was doing so well.

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I had no idea just why all these things were happening! But at least I now had hope! Not to mention having gotten a much-needed rest in the mental ward, Unit 3600!

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And why was there now hope? Because this trip to the mental ward turned out to be, not what I thought it would be! I actually kind-of had a nice time! Would I have rather not gone there? Oh infinitely! But at least my trip went smoother than it did for the guy in the song, “They’re Coming To Take Me Away”. Remember that old song? (if you can even call it a song!)

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And at least I came out of this experience in better condition than that guy in the movie, “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.” If you’re old enough to remember that extremely well-done movie, he was given a lobotomy at the end, and wound up as a human vegetable (Little did I know what would be waiting for me in just a couple of days, back up there at Ward 3600!)

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But all that hope and all that good time I experienced in Ward 3600 was short-lived.

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Really short-lived!

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Photo Lobotomy courtesy Discover magazine Jan-2007 & wikipedia GNU user license.

Straight jacket Wikipedia. Public domain.

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“BORN FREE”

(Title of the 1966 song)

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Yeah, my rest and reprieve was coming to an abrupt halt!

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Right now!!!

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Because as soon as I got in my dad’s car, to take me home from the mental ward, it started all over again! As soon as we were rolling down the street away from the hospital, Dad put in a music cassette into the car stereo. It was the song, “Born Free”, a song from some movie about animals, I think. My dad probably put in the cassette to break up the silence. But as soon as he did, I went into a deep, deep, and very horrible state of mind! And even though I’d heard that innocuous and benign little song many times, it nevertheless played differently this time around.

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Now this song was like it had been ignited by the fires of Hell…

“Born free, as free as the wind blows… As free as the grass grows… Born free to follow your heart…

As as we drove the short distance to home, I couldn’t tell whether I was on earth, or in some sort of artificial parallel world in Hell!

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Judgment and Hell now enshrouded me!

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You see, I never felt compelled to live by God’s Law. In many ways, I lived free, like an un-caged wild animal. I smoked pot (a little)! I bought and sold “pep pills” (a lot, but only between friends, and probably never for profit)! I was free from God’s law. “I did my own thing”, as they often say. I followed my own heart!

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And my heart was corrupt: as corrupt as this Bible verse reveals about the condition of the human heart…

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“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.” Jeremiah 17:9, 10. 

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Although I wasn’t aware of this Bible passage at that time, it nevertheless speaks plainly of the condition of the human heart… “Desperately wicked.” And I was no exception!

(song continues…) “Live free, and beauty surrounds you… The world still astounds you… Each time you look at a star…

Normally these breezy and benign lyrics might even have been inspiring to me; and uplifting too! But now, it was like I was being pelted with giant hailstones from Heaven! Something like this verse from Revelation…

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“And there fell upon men a great hail out of heaven, every stone about the weight of a talent (approx. 100 pounds each): and men blasphemed God because of the plague of the hail; for the plague thereof was exceeding great!”

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I was now being condemned! My godless past was coming back to bite me! My godless life was filled with lust for every lady who winked at me! I wasn’t the least bit loyal! Whatever I could get away with! With whoever I could get away with! “Monkey Business” was my game!

(song continues…) “Stay free, where no walls divide you… You’re free as a roaring tide… So there’s no need to hide…

 That’s right…There was no place to hide! And so, this “harmless little song” continued. And like a tsunami, the Judgment of God was just now sweeping over me, like a giant roaring tide! Now there was nowhere to run! It was the Day of the Lord’s wrath…at least it was for me!

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“…and the rich men… and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains; And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sits on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb: FOR THE GREAT DAY OF HIS WRATH IS COME; AND WHO SHALL BE ABLE TO STAND?” Revelation 6:15-17. 

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I didn’t know this verse at the time (nor any other Bible verse). But it certainly was appropriate to my fearful situation! Oh no, there were no literal rocks falling. Nevertheless, I did not have The Rock of Ages to hide me. (see Psalm 32:7)

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Nor could I hide inside the “ragged rocks” of God’s Word, the Bible! I just never bothered to read that Book, nor hide its, “Exceeding great and precious promises”, in my heart (the “heart” being the “treasure chest” of the mind, and not to be confused with the blood-pumping organ) (see 2nd Peter 1:4 & Isaiah 2:20-22) 

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(song continues…) “Born free, and life is worth living… But only worth living… Cause you’re born free!”

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Here again, I loved this present selfish world! And because I thought I was free from God’s Law, I thought life was worth living in all my selfish ways! I didn’t realize that true freedom could only be found in the Heaven-sent joy and contentment received by following Jesus, as one of His disciples, onward to everlasting life!
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(Song finally ends, thankfully!)

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My dad still driving, not aware of the terror I was now suffering because of these fearful lyrics. I can’t say for sure just how long after this song, that all this incredible terror lasted; nor even what horrifying events happened immediately after this! But the terror, no doubt continued…

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Photos marijuana public domain . click here for link. Wikipedia.

Born Free Poster wikipedia fair-use-rationale, click here for details, rationale, etc…

Photo of foolish monkey 

Betty Boop courtesy Wikipedia. Public Domain

Painting-Great Day of His Wrath by J. Martin-Wikipedia-Public Domain-Click here for link.

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JUDGMENT DAY, THE GIANT TRAP…

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I was born a free-spirit alright! Free from God! Free from His Holy Commandments! And this song only taunted and terrorized me!

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And why not?

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After all, my sins, which, needless to say, were many, together with my biblical illiteracy, placed me in a very vulnerable predicament! A totally helpless situation!

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Oh, to be tormented under the heat of God’s fiery wrath! And now there was someone who was mocking me! And at this moment, I was like a wild animal, caught in a cage by the hunter. I may have been “born free”. And I may have lived free! But right now I was trapped in an inescapable prison-cell of Judgment: GOD’S JUDGMENT!

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Just listen to this next verse! It really “nails it”! It really captures what I was going through!

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Just listen… 

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“For man also knows not his time: as the fishes that are taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in the snare; so are the sons of men snared in an evil time, when it falls suddenly upon them.” Ecclesiastes 9:1

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I would suppose a psychiatrist might diagnose what I was going through, “A classic state of psychosis, if I’ve ever seen one!” Nothing is real! It was horrible! Worse! It was HELL!  Hell on Earth! And I was learning that you DON’T need matches, nor kindling-wood, nor newspapers to ignite the fires of Judgment!

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No no, the fire on that day burns within your very own soul, down to the depths of Hell…“the breath of the LORD, like a stream of brimstone, doth ignite it.” And only God Almighty can put that fire out!

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Just listen to this next verse! It really speaks of the Day of Judgment…

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“For Tophet is ordained of old; yea, for the King it is prepared; He hath made it deep and large: the pile thereof is fire and much wood; the breath of the LORD, like a stream of brimstone, doth kindle it.” Isaiah 30:33.

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Like so much of the Bible, this verse must be speaking metaphorically. In other words, there was no literal fire and no literal wood, at least not in my case. But the fire now burning in my soul, was just as hot as any literal fire, or so it seemed to me! (Oh yeah, I understand that actual fire & brimstone completely destroyed Sodom & Gomorrah on their final day, creating a deep and wide crater, now filled with water. And you can still find little balls of brimstone on the ground outside of the now water-covered grave where Sodom & Gomorrah once were, before they were blasted by God.)

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Oh, and what does “Tophet” mean, you ask? Well, it was simply a name given to the Valley of Hinnom outside Jerusalem, in which the citizens would sacrifice their children to some false god, like Baal.

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Again, this verse is actually metaphorical (symbolic) language.

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“As Fish Are Caught In an Evil Net” Casanatense_ Wikipedia public domain

“Birds that are Caught In the Snare” – Wikipedia – Public Domain – 806E9E~1

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NO MORE LAUGHING AT JUDGMENT DAY!

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Now at this point in time, I didn’t know a single thing about this preceding Bible verse about birds and fish! And up to a couple of weeks earlier, if someone had spoken this Ecclesiastes 9:1 passage to me…well…I woulda said …”Birds caught in a snare? Fishes taken in an evil net? RUBBISH! Fodder for those fools: ‘numb-skulls’ called, Christians! Judgment Day? NONSENSE!”

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Nor did I know about this next verse which is very similar…

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“For as a snare shall it (Judgment Day) come on all them that dwell on the face of the whole earth.”  Luke 21:35.

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Not only did I NOT know these verses about these things, but I had altogether stopped believing in the Bible…and in God! Public schooling and my atheistic school-books, friends, teachers and college professors had pretty much wiped away all that “religious rubbish” outa my head! I was now an “enlightened individual”! A “higher order of intellect”! A bit above all those superstitious ‘Neanderthals’, who call themselves “Believers”! Balderdash!! FOOLS, EACH AND EVERY ONE!!

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“But there I was!” (as one popular songster put it). However, this was no Hollywood movie! This was no Steven King novel! No, this was for REAL! Now I didn’t “talk so loud”! Now I didn’t “act so proud”, as another songster sang!

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“WON’T YOU TAKE A RIDE ON THE FLYING SCROLL?”

(Word-play on lyrics from the Creedence hit song, “Out My Back Door”)

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Thinking back, I guess this experience I was going through, reminds me of a fiery passage from the Prophet Zechariah concerning Judgment Day…

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“Then I turned, and lifted up mine eyes, and looked, and behold a flying roll (scroll)…This is the curse that goes forth over the face of the whole earth: for every one that steals shall be cut off as on this side according to it; and every one that swears shall be cut off as on that side according to it…and it shall enter into the house of the thief, and into the house of him that swears falsely by My name: and it shall remain in the midst of his house, and shall consume it with the timber thereof and the stones thereof.” Zechariah 5:1-3.

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Yeah, it sure seemed like God’s law had come to my house, just like the flying scroll in the above verse from Zechariah. This law had come to judge me! I was a thief! I was an adulterer! I was a cheat! Heaven’s Judgment had definitely entered my house! This flying scroll had come to visit me! It was now the day of God’s visitation!

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And there was nowhere to run!

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And there was certainly no place in which I could hide!

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Artist’s conception of Zechariah’s Flying Roll courtesy www.breadsite.org Public domain image.

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Well anyway, while taking the tour, the elderly owner told me of a book which would offer me a formula for getting rich: “Think & Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. The power of positive thinking! It inspired me to plan for success. Reading and following that book was like taking pep pills!

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Well, this book turned out to be really, “heap good medicine!”, as far as I was concerned! 

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Yeah, I began to apply its principles to my life. And because I had no belief in God, this book gave me something to live for. Structure! I needed to have some sort of structure over my life (most atheists need something to hold onto. Because the only god you can depend on, is your own self! Thus, atheism can often be a very scary and insecure religion, even though at that time, I would have ardently denied this fact, should anyone have asked me).

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Napoleon_Hill_holding_book_1937

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“GIVE ME MONEY!…THAT’S WHAT I WANT!”…

(1963 Beatles song)

On the other hand, one of the “perks” to being an atheist, is that you have the firm belief…or should I rather say, the firm “confidence”…yes that’s the word: confidence. An atheist has the firm confidence that he or she can get away with something, as long as nobody’s watching, especially God! And this confidence allows the atheist certain…uh-hum…freedoms, liberties, or should I rather say, ‘inhibitions’, not afforded to those of a more religious bent.

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And so, for many years, at any convenient moment, I’d just skim off money from the cash register down at work. At first I took a little. But after a while, it became so easy, I just took several hundred here, and several hundred there. My conscience no longer bothered me about all this. And so, this went on for about five or six years.

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I always had money. I lived quite well. And I socked most of it into real estate. You might say, I was very good at playing ‘Monopoly’. And I controlled the bank too; “several hundred here, and several hundred there”…

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MY VERY FIRST ROBBERY

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But stealing from the cash register wasn’t my first gig in the world of crime.

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You see, many years previous, when I was about 4 or 5, I still vividly recall walking into Clark’s Market, a small convenience store on the corner of 25th & State streets in Salem, back in the 1950’s on the bank of old Mill Creek. For some unknown reason, I decided to steal a small 5-cent pencil eraser.

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But upon leaving the store, I ran smack-dab into Mr. Clark, standing there with his Clark-Kent-style round wire-rimmed glasses, clerk’s apron, bow tie, posing like an angry father with fists on hips.

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I guiltily looked up at this giant avenger and asked, “Is something wrong?”, to which he replied, “No, what’s the matter? Do you have a guilty conscience?” I nervously muttered, “No”, and continued on my way down the sidewalk, back home, terrified with my close encounter with getting caught.

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Well, after this incident, I would lie in bed for a number of nights, overwhelmed with guilt because of my very first theft. 

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But this experience cured me of ever wanting to steal again, for many years following.

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Yeah, it was hard to erase the memory of that incident at Clark’s Market, and the guilt and condemnation which followed!

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Pink Pearl eraser – edited image – Wikimedia – Public Domain

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“FIVE YEAR PLANS AND NEW DEALS”…

(Lyrics from Creedence hit song, “Who’ll Stop The Rain?”)

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Ah, but the years went by, and I grew older, no longer plagued by a guilty conscience. And even though I was very liberal with myself, I also became somewhat of a good investor. You see, I had this five-year-plan. I was going to make enough money to retire at forty…(Okay, a fifteen-year plan!) And when I retired, I wanted to have a yacht to sail away into the sunset.

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Now, I didn’t want to think about death. No atheist does! So I simply squinted my eyes, took another swig of forgetfulness, and envisioned me and my yacht and a good-looking babe or two, sailing off into the sunset! And as for death—well, I would cross that bridge later…hopefully much, much, later! (Oh yes, whenever I felt some reoccurring pain somewhere in body, I couldn’t shake the thought that maybe I had cancer or something. But a drink or two was usually enough to quell those fears for the night).

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But now my bubble was burst! Now my atheist armor had a great big hole in it. I was (it seemed) just like that atheist in that comedy album. You know—the atheist who died and was standing before God Almighty.

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And now I was that clown-in-shock on the album jacket. (These remarks refer to the comedy album, “Comedy Is Not Pretty“ )

“…WRAPPED IN GOLDEN CHAINS…”

(Lyrics from Creedence hit song, “Who’ll Stop The Rain?”)

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So I went to my bank and withdrew all the money in an account (most of my money was invested in real estate). The lady gave me 20 thousand dollars. (Remember, this was 197o’s money. $20,000 would be like—I don’t know—maybe $60,000 or $80,000 in today’s money. Let’s put it this way, I bought one 1,800 sq. ft. house for $25,000, which would cost maybe $200,000 or more, today.)

Anyway, I had the teller put it in the form of a cashier’s check. I took the check and put it into an envelope, and addressed it to the IRS in Ogden Utah. I then took it out to the big mail-box in front of the restaurant. I figured that was enough money to get me right with Uncle Sam.

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I must admit, this was not exactly normal behavior. But just imagine when Judgment Day does finally come upon the entire world! Just think of all the people who will try to do the same thing!

I must have told my brother or mother, because I much later found out that they called the local post office, and got the mail-man to come out and retrieve this check.

Which reminds me, if you didn’t listen to that song yet (“Sinnerman”), just click the following link to my other web-sight (But be sure to come back here after the song… Click here (“Sinnerman, where ya gonna run to?”))

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

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“SINNERMAN, YA PAID TOO LATE!”

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I also was overwhelmed with the guilt that I had mercilessly overcharged the very nice owner/bartender of the Stockman’s Social Club, for my services as keyboard player/singer.

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And since I was in sheer terror about my present circumstances, I was desperately determined to make everything right!

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And so, I went down to his club (which had not yet opened at this hour of the morning) and slipped an envelope containing $500.00 under the entrance door ($500.00 in 1979 is about $1,500-$2,000 in 2020).

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As I carefully slipped the envelope under the front door of the bar, I thought to myself…“Sure hope this $500.00 finds its way to Ed (the owner of the bar)!

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To go to the next chapter, just click here …

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Ch. 9: “The Last Passover” 

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This chapter tells of the last night of Planet Earth’s existence, and the “sanctuary safe-house” we need to be in at that moment!

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Click on image credit links below each photo, for licensing names, details, and tags, etc.. Most Images cropped & reduced in size.

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I was now in the mental ward, Unit 3600! And, as soon as my family left, I could no longer resist the heavy drug injected into my blood.

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And I went to sleep. 

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But what was waiting in store for me here in this high-security mental ward?

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And what frightful encounters/experiences did the spirits have planned for me?

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Well, I was about to find out what these unseen ones had in store for me…

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Yeah!

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I was about to find out…

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Unit 3600 Judgment Day RX-7 – inspired by Munch Painting, ‘The Scream of Nature’

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CHAPTER 5:

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“ONE FLEW “INTO” THE CUCKOO’S NEST”,

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PART ONE

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“OLD DAYS!”

 

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NOT SO MUCH THE CUCKOO’S NEST…

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I woke up a very short time later, smack-dab in the mental ward! Unit 3600! I looked around at my new environment.

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Where was the “shock-treatment room”?

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Where were the “ice baths”?

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Where was McMurphey?

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And where was Nurse Ratched? (the two characters from Ken Kesey’s novel, “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”)

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It actually looked pretty comfortable in here! There were couches and overstuffed chairs. There was a TV and a stereo system.

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And a pool table! 

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There was a kitchen and dining area, and a refrigerator loaded with snacks, and trays of food!

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And best of all, there was no icy, cold-hearted Nurse Ratched!

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Unit 3600 Judgment Day RX-7 – inspired by Munch Painting, ‘The Scream of Nature’

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest poster – wikipedia – “Fair Use” Copyrighted – click here for details

Nurse Ratched – Fair-Use Rationale – click here for details – Wikipedia

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NOT TOO SHABBY! NOT…TOO…SHABBY!…

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Since it was now very late…or possibly very early, the lights in the ward were turned way down low in this somewhat large place.

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And all was quiet.

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The patients must have all retired to their sleeping quarters. (These patient rooms were all in a row down two hallways; one hallway of maybe 5 or 6 sleeping rooms on one side of this ward. And the other hallway of about an equal number of sleeping rooms on the other side. It was a very well designed ward, and very open…with the nurses’ station at one end of the ward and a very large living area on the other end.)

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At some point, I was issued hospital pajamas, which I immediately disliked, to put it mildly. You know, the kind that are open in the back and come down to the knees. I guess hospitals prefer that kind, so they can access your back-side for readings.

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And as far as going back to sleep, I just can’t remember what happened on this, my first night.

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But somehow, I managed to make it through the night.

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Unit 3600 Judgment Day RX-7 – inspired by Munch Painting, ‘The Scream of Nature’

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“OLD DAYS, GOOD TIMES I REMEMBER”…

(First line from the 1975 hit song by Chicago, “Old Days”)

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The next morning, the ward was filled with patients. Everyone was pretty-well behaved, as I recall.

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While inspecting the living area, I couldn’t help but appreciate the big picture windows on the far end of the ward, overlooking Klamath Basin. Out there in the far distance, was majestic Mount Shasta, towering above the southern horizon! (Oh, what I would’ve given to, once again, be back up on those shining white slopes with a lift ticket!)

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Mt. Shasta – snow Capped – public domain – wikipedia

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“TAKE ME BACK, TO A WORLD GONE AWAY!”

(Further lyrics from the song, “Old Days”)

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But I knew those “old days” were now over! At least they were for me! Gone forever were the carefree and “good times, I remember”!

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Now only judgment hanging over my head…judgment as big as that mountain, far off in the distance…ready to squash me like the proverbial bug! Worse! Eternal Torment! Hour after hour of fiery torment awaited me! Year after year of unceasing punishment! Then as the years turned into centuries, and those into millenniums…my punishment would still continue on…and on…and on…forever! No rest! No mercy! No chance to repent! (Ohhh, that I could once again be flying down those shining slopes of Mount Shasta, sparkling like diamonds! I could just feel the crisp wind on my face!

Oh, that the knowledge of all this horror-show I was now experiencing could somehow be swept clean from my memory-bank! Then I could return to my blissful ignorance and simply go back to my former selfish little life!)

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But now my last and final end was gonna be this mental ward! Now these mysterious spirit beings had me into this strange place!

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And what did they have in store for me? 

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The world outside carried on. And anyone who knew me, probably just shook their head… “Did ya hear about Chuck?” “Yeah, I guess he went completely berserk!”

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(Ohhh, I could just picture myself on that chair-lift, going up, up, up to the top.)

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But now, I was on my way down, down, down! (Oh, to be skiing on those slopes! Silently swishing down that big beautiful white mountainous wintery wonderland!)

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Mt. Shasta – snow Capped – public domain – wikipedia

Hell – Gustave Dore – Wikipedia – US Public Domain

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WARD WAS SECURED

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There were two hallways, one on either side of the nurse’s station, each leading to large double-door exits. I found out later that the nurses didn’t like patients to loiter too close to the two exits, for obvious reasons. 

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Oh yeah, they were both locked and had alarms. But there was always the possibility that someone from the outside would enter one of those doors, inadvertently allowing a patient to slip out and escape from the hospital.

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Unit 3600 Judgment Day RX-7 – inspired by Munch Painting, ‘The Scream of Nature’

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“SINNERMAN, WHERE YA GONNA RUN TO?”

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After some time, I was given a written examination.

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Two of the questions on this mental evaluation, stood out above the others, making me think that the spirits were somewhat in charge in the making of this examination!

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One question was “What do you do when in a crowded theater, and you see smoke?”

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As to this first question, I began to wonder if maybe the spirits dreamed up these questions. After all, if the theater represented the world. And if the world was soon to become a fiery inferno. Well, the question, “What do you do in a crowded theater if you see smoke?” has a simple answer…

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Yeah, obviously, you jump up and shout as loud as you can, to warn people, “Run for your lives and save yourselves! Because this “theater’s” on fire! The world’s soon to be burned up!”

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Nuclear Bomb – wikimedia

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“And the LORD…said, Write the vision…plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak”

Habakkuk 2:2  

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It just seemed like such a loaded question (“What do you do when in a crowded theater, and you see smoke?”). A very loaded question, indeed, requiring the obvious answer…“RUN! FLEE! HIDE! SAVE YOURSELVES!” 

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On the other hand, I now know that the spirits were controlling my thoughts, somewhat. So, under normal circumstances, I would never interpret these questions in such an ominous and foreboding manner!

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But hey, even the Bible sounds this same alarm, about fleeing, in many places…“When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him understand:) Then let them which be in Judaea flee into the mountains: Let him which is on the housetop not come down to take any thing out of his house…For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.” Matthew 24:15-17-21

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This and many similar passages warn the world to flee at this special time of the end. Of course, at this particular time, I was not aware of these passages!  

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Picture – Lot Escapes – www.thebiblerevival.com offers free Bible clipart – Public Domain.

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“LIKE A ROLLING STONE!”

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The next question went along with the first. And this second one asked the question…to complete the following sentence, “A rolling stone….” Now normally, I would merely answer with, “A rolling stone…gathers no moss.” and be done with it! 

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Simple!

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Right?

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WRONG!

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This is because that question was a very appropriate commentary on my current…uh…situation. This question reminded me of that song by Dylan, “Like a Rolling Stone”.

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“Once upon a time ya dressed so fine, ya threw the bums a dime, in yer prime…

now ya don’t talk so loud. Now ya don’t act so proud,

about havin’ to be scroungin’ yer next meal…

how does it feel…to be on yer own, with no direction home…

like a rollin’ stone?”

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Definitely this psych-ward question was really a complicated one! At least it was for me! And that song (“Like A Rolling Stone”) seems to have “hit the nail on the head”. Because until November of this year (1979), I had all the things a person could hope for in this world: I had money! I had houses! I had talents! I had girlfriends! I had a nice car. I ate the best food (and plenty of it!). I saw the best live entertainment down in Reno, Tahoe, and Vegas. 

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I ignored the poor. I mocked the crippled (only twice!) I made faces as I passed by extremely fat people (probably). I ate and drank like a king. I lived a reckless life. I had an envious job. I played piano at steak houses on the weekends. I moved from one girlfriend to the next. I moved from one house to the next (and each house bigger and better than the previous house).

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Yeah, I was a rich man! And it all went to my head! And I just moved on…like the proverbial rolling stone that gathers no moss!

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss – Wikipedia – Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license

Photo of Dylan courtesy wikipedia share alike license. Click here for link.

Hands Toasting Drinks – Cheers! – cropped image – Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution 2.0

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THE RICH MAN & LAZARUS

Luke 16:19-31

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But now the tables had turned. Now I didn’t, “talk so loud!” Now I didn’t, “act so proud!” Now, invisible spirit beings had captured me. Now I was bankrupt before an angry God! Now my judgment had come! Now I was sentenced to Hell! Now I was doomed to eternal torment…suffering intensely in never-ending hot flames of fire! 

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Oh yeah, I was like that rich man in that Bible parable. You know…the “Rich Man & Lazarus”. “The Rich Man & Lazarus” is a parable in the Bible about a rich man who lived in luxury while a very sick beggar named Lazarus desired to eat the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table.

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And Jesus explained this parable by saying that “it came to pass, both Lazarus as well as the rich man died”. And Jesus explained further that poor sick Lazarus was carried off into eternal bliss, while the rich man was sent to Hell, where he was tormented in flames of fire.

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Anyway, the rich man begged…“Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.”, but Abraham reminded the rich man that all his life, he enjoyed the best of everything, while poor Lazarus only received the dregs in life. (see Luke 16:24)

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Now it must be noted that Jesus was telling this parable to the rich Pharisees (a proud, strict moral Jewish sect), to shake them up a little.

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You see, the Pharisees believed that it was God who blessed them (the Pharisees), with earthly riches, because they were so wonderful; but they also believed that poor folks were poor because they were cursed by God. 

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Now I wasn’t aware of this parable back then, but looking back, it sure seemed to fit me very well! I was being condemned because of my godless, decadent, arrogant, and self-indulgent life.

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And now my judgment had come. Oh no, there were no literal flames of fire. But the torment I was now going through was extremely painful. And there was no Lazarus, nor anyone else, to bring me even one tiny little drop of water (that is to say, not even one tiny drop of mercy)!

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And so, for me, the words of this song, “Like a Rolling Stone” which said… “Ya threw the bums a dime in yer prime, now didn’t you?” seemed to fit my circumstances pretty well at this moment. Yeah, that Dylan song kind-of paralleled the Parable of the Rich Man & Lazarus. At least it did in my case! And just like that rich man in that parable, I too, “threw the bums a dime…in my prime”. 

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Lazarus – www.wikigallery.org – Jacopo Bassano

Rich Man & Lazarus-Wikigallery-Public-Domain

Unit 3600 Judgment Day RX-7 – inspired by Munch Painting, ‘The Scream of Nature’

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“Now you don’t seem so proud…About having to be scrounging your next meal”

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But now the tables were turned. Now I didn’t “talk so loud”. Now I didn’t “seem so proud”. And now, just like that rich man in that Bible parable, I was in Hell!

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Oh no, there were no literal flames. No netherworld caverns.

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But I was being tormented just the same! Oh yeah! Now I was being roasted in SPIRITUAL flames of fire, for the past days! And very soon, my torment would continue…right here in Ward 3600!

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“How does it feel? To be on yer own? Like a complete unknown? With no direction home?” I was truly like a rolling stone! But I was also like the Rich Man in that Bible parable (of course, as I’ve already said, I knew nothing about that parable during this spiritual-hellish-crisis I was now going through!)

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ROCKS THAT WON’T ROLL! NO ROLLING STONES HERE!

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But there was a much bigger stone which had now dropped on me. And this stone weighed about a hundred pounds or so….   “And the seventh angel poured out his bowl (of God’s wrath) into the air… And there fell upon men a great hail out of heaven, every stone about the weight of a talent (approx. 100 lbs)…” Revelation 16:17, 21   

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Yeah, these were the Judgment stones of God Almighty! And His stones of judgment don’t rock, and they don’t roll! They just fall on you! And they were now falling on me for the past days! And those stones were grinding me to powder! (“And whosoever shall fall on this Stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.” Matthew 21:44)

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Painting-Great Day of His Wrath by J. Martin-Wikipedia-Public Domain-Click here for link.

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“MULTI-PURPOSE” INCLUDES THE “SINGULAR-PURPOSE”: PRAYER…

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As I walked around the ward, I opened a door just off the main living area.

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I peeked in to see where it led to.

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I discovered it to be a nice multi-purpose room off the main sitting area, which also had a couch and chairs. And it was empty. So, I decided this would be a good place to pray.

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And I did.

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With the door open just enough to give a little light, I knelt down before a couch and began to cry out for mercy. As far as I remember, this was the first time during this 3-day ordeal that I engaged in serious prayer.

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I hadn’t prayed in years. Well why should I? After all, I was told, all through public schooling, that we were descended from apes! From the first grade onward and upward, this theory of Darwinism was shot into our little veins, in our public schooling!

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SO, WHY PRAY TO GOD IF HE REALLY DOESN’T EVEN EXIST!?

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Question Mark – at a loss – Wikimedia – Share-alike license

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BUT I USED TO PRAY!

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Oh yeah, I used to pray. I used to pray when I was a little boy. I faithfully prayed the Lord’s Prayer every night on my knees before bed. Yeah! Me! That’s right! I even went to church in those days! (This nice painting to the left, of a little boy praying, is of course, not me. But since I don’t have any photos of me praying back then, this one from Wikimedia will have to do. And this is just about the same prayer-posture I took each night, as a little guy (of course, minus that old-fashioned, long night-gown kids once wore in the earlier decades)).

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I even attended church with my family every Sunday. And Sunday was great day for me and my family! Our pastor was a young guy, Pastor Capalungo. Pastor Capalungo was a modern-thinking guy. Not a traditionalist! Not at all! Very outgoing, upbeat, and energetic. Full of life! He could have easily been a CAMP COUNSELOR for a kid’s summer-camp. He was good. No, he was GREAT with kids! He made you think to yourself, “I never knew that church could be so fun!”

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And so, we liked church. And we were crazy about Pastor Capalungo!

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Anyway, after church, we would all descend on my grandparent’s house, for a big Sunday afternoon dinner. And Grandma put on an incredible spread! It was like a holiday feast every week! And then after that, my brother, sister, and cousins would all go out into the big back yard and run and play and hide and seek and whatever other games we invented!

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Child at Prayer by Eastman Johnson, circa 1873

Norman Rockwell-“Freedom From Want” Wikimedia “Fair-use Rationale” (click here for licensing details)

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“Those were the days, my friend! We thought they’d never end! We’d sing and dance forever and a day!…Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days!”

(Lyrics from the 1968 song, “Those Were The Days”)

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Yeah, those were the days of swimming in the nearby creek, blowing on spindly dandelions, catching frogs and crickets in grassy lawns, and climbing trees, exploring old barns, shooting marbles, playing army with tiny rubber WWII soldiers, and a bunch of other childhood joys!

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Oh yes, those were the days!

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Good years! Very good years indeed! And in the late 50’s, early 60’s, we were about as normal as this Norman Rockwell painting!

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

shooting marbles – Wikimedia Commons – US Govt. Public Domain

Norman Rockwell-“Freedom From Want” Wikimedia “Fair-use Rationale” (click here for licensing details)

 

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“SAMMY COME HOME”

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I even had a dog. Dad got us a snow-white Samoyed Husky, which we appropriately named, “Sammy”. Beautiful dog with long white fur and a great big smile! Us kids loved that dog, in spite of the fact that he was a bit of a rogue, often sneaking out of the yard, and off into parts unknown. 

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SAMMY GOES ON EXTENDED ROMP

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Oh yeah, Sammy was a very welcomed member of the family. He chased sticks and brought ’em back! Jumped through a Hula-Hoop! A very smart dog, too! But for his one failing in life (being a rogue), he was just about a perfect dog: perfect, as far as I was concerned, anyway.

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But when Sammy thought there was no one around, he would slither out into the street, with his tail tucked between his legs, kind-of looking back to see if he was being watched. But ol’ Sammy seemed to somehow see an imaginary line in the very middle of the street. Because once he crossed that imaginary middle line, if nobody had already yelled at him “Get back here!”, ol’ Sammy would take off like a lightning bolt! Snow-white fur flying in the wind until he’d disappear completely out of sight!

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And that’s the last that we’d see of him till evening, when he came happily trotting home. (Of course, when he saw us waiting angrily for him, with tail tucked, and with ears down, he would slither back into the yard to get his spanking!) 

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(“These…things doth the LORD hate… feet that be swift in running to mischief…” Proverbs 6:16, 18 [condensed])

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And so, this went on for however long we had Sammy. Sometimes we’d catch him slithering across the street. And we’d yell at him, and he’d slither back into the yard, knowing that a spanking was awaiting him. But once Sammy crossed that imaginary center-line in the street, there was no amount of yelling that could get him back! He was gonzo!

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And why not be happy? Because, whatever he did all day, out there in the unknown wilds, he no doubt had a great time doing it! 

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But as I’ve said, Sammy had his good aspects too! He was lovable, and playful, fun to chase. And he could fetch sticks and baseballs as good as any dog could! And us kids would often wrestle with Sammy in the living room, while watching any number of TV shows during the very early 60’s.

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But then one time, he didn’t come home for days! We feared he was gone for good. I was really worried I would never see him again.

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And so I prayed and prayed for Sammy to come home. But it seemed like Sammy was gone for good.

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And then, a few days, or even a week later, I remember walking to school one morning, and running smack-dab into him crossing my path, as he was gallivanting through a near-by neighborhood! He was so muddy, I could hardly recognize him! Nevertheless, I was completely overjoyed to find him! I excitedly held on tight to his collar, and happily ran him back home, about 4 or 5 short blocks away in this older section of town, which we then lived! 

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Sitting Samoyed wikimedia share-alike license

Siberian Samoyed dog. Image- EduardoVela Public domain via Wikimedia Commons

Samoyed dog headshot wikimedia share-alike license

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LAST ROGUE-ROMP

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Back in the early 60’s, it was somewhat of a “do-whatever-you-like” world in many aspects of everyday life. After all, Salem Oregon was a small, quiet town in those days. Things were pretty safe, back then. Oh yeah, there was crime. And there were drugs in certain corners of the city. And immorality too! But the occurrence of those things was just fractional compared with now! And they were pretty much “kept in the closet” as the saying goes.

At least back in Salem they were. 

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But in some ways, people were more responsible than they are now. For example, you hardly even needed to lock your doors back then!

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However, in other particular areas of life, people were sometimes very irresponsible. 

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Things were not like they are today. And my mom and dad were both full-time career people (Mom, a secretary for an attorney, and Dad a manager for a large insurance company). And they were so busy working, that Sammy’s security was left pretty-much up to us kids. But we didn’t lock him up like we would in today’s world.

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Well one day, after one of his usual romps into parts unknown, Sammy came home, as he normally did. But this time, he perhaps didn’t come trotting home like a finalist in a dog show. And every day thereafter, he seemed to get sicker. We feared he either accidentally ate something poisonous, or perhaps, someone got tired of his playboy antics in the neighborhood, and simply fed him some poison, to get rid of him. Nobody ever knew for sure.

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But whatever the reason for getting sick, wasn’t important right now. I just wanted him to get better! And so I prayed for his recovery. And I prayed! And I cried out to God for his recovery! 

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(“For the arrows of the Almighty are within me, the poison whereof drinketh up my spirit: the terrors of God do set themselves in array against me.” Job 6:4)

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But in spite of all my prayers, Sammy just kept getting sicker. “Oh God, please make Sammy well again! Oh God please!”

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Finally, after a week or so later, our dear Sammy died. Needless to say, I was devastated. Man, did I ever cry for my loss! Sammy was gone! Wow, did I ever cry!

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Sidewalk in autumn – Salem, Oregon wikimedia by M.O. Stevens  GNU Free Documentation License

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THINGS TO DO, PLACES TO GO, PEOPLE TO SEE!

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A little time passed by. And as I earlier stated, each night before going to sleep, I would kneel down beside my bed, and faithfully pray the Lord’s Prayer. Night after night I would faithfully pray the Lord’s Prayer. And it’s hard to remember how long this went on. But perhaps it continued during all those early years when me and my family were faithfully attending church each Sunday.

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But us kids were beginning to become teens. And now there were many things to do. And even church began to lose its importance. And not just for me. My entire family began to fall away from regular church attendance. And Pastor Capalungo even moved on, and another pastor took his place. And so church was eventually put on the back-burner, as they say. First my parents, and then, eventually us three kids quit going altogether (Oh, maybe my sister kept going, as I vaguely recall).

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But I had other things to do: better things to do! And after a while, I decided that the Lord’s Prayer was too long of a prayer. So I substituted “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, etc….” This was a shorter prayer, than the Lord’s Prayer.

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But even that “went by the wayside”, after another year or two.

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I eventually stopped praying altogether.

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The First United Methodist Church in downtown Salem. wikimedia public domain

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To go to Part 2, just click here…

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CH. 6 One Flew Into The Cuckoo’s Nest, Part 2:”Catch A Wave!”

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 This next part 2 has more old memories of supernatural events from my past…

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Click on credit links below each pic, for licensing names/details/tags/etc.. Most pics cropped/reduced in size

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Well, what can I say!?

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Up until about 40 hours ago or so, I assumed that mental illness was…just…uh…well, I wasn’t exactly sure what it was.

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Oh yeah, there were a few times in my adulthood, that I was definitely “walking on the edge”. A few real bad moments in my life. And before “all this Hell broke loose”, I had, of late, been experiencing some real mental issues, at several moments. For instance, a voice had spoken to me in my head one day, a few sentences. I had also experienced some sort of personality change, a few months earlier, that I couldn’t explain. And one or two other similar phenomena.

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But now…but now I knew…that mental illness was much, much more than just “a head that needs shrinking”!

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Now I had been thrown into some sort of Cosmic Armageddon! And finally I realized that we humans are not alone!

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Well, this epiphany would have been startling and incredible enough! But at this moment, I was going through something so horrifying and unbelievable, I’m amazed that my heart didn’t just pop right out of my chest!

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The horror-factor was totally, “off-the-charts”!

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All my life, I lived in an atheistic world. Oh yeah, I went to church as a boy. But supernatural things just didn’t happen! And the few times they did, I simply brushed them off as…well…as just something to shake off and dismiss out of my consciousness! 

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But this current crisis was only just the beginning! Things were gonna get a whole lot crazier than what I’d already experienced! Yeah! A whole lot crazier!

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Okay, let’s get back to the story…

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“The Scream of Nature” – Wikipedia – public domain – by edvard munch c.1893

Satan presiding at the Infernal Council – Wikpedia – US Public Domain

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CHAPTER 4:

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“COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HA, HO-HO, HE-HE…

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3rd Day…8 AM

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“SOMEONE’S KNOCKIN’ AT THE DOOR…SOMEONE’S RINGIN’ THE BELL…LET EM IN!”

(Lyrics from the 1976 Paul Mccartney song, “Let Em’ In”) 

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As I said, I heard someone coming through the front door.

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Was this an embassage of spirit beings coming to impatiently escort me down into the fiery courts of the netherworld?

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I just didn’t know!

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But one thing was certain; I was gonna find out!

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I didn’t get to sleep at all last night! But sleep was the least of my concerns, right now!

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And as I went out to see who it was, my parents and I met face-to-face in the front room. No doubt my brother had clued them in as to my… uh… less-than-normal behavior.

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

The Scream of Nature (see Chapter 1, top of page, for explanation) – by edvard munch c.1893Wikipedia public domain

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GLOBAL WARNING!!!

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I began to speak to my parents about…uh…I don’t remember what. But whatever I said, I’m sure had a profound effect on them. And not a good profound effect! Oh yeah, I remember…a little bit. I think I told them that it was the end of the world.

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I probably told them that they must pray to be delivered; delivered from the imminent fiery nuclear destruction of the world!

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Global Warning – Judgment – Christ Coming by Julian Osley – cropped image – Wikimedia – Share Alike License

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“A MONSIGNOR MOMENT”

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Of course, as far as I was concerned, it was my Judgment Day, or perhaps, everyone’s Judgment Day! So whatever I said, no doubt had to do with this topic. But I do remember specifically asking them to pray.

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And in order to set this scene up properly, I have to describe the scenario…

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It was about 8 AM on a Sunday morning. I was wearing a long thick black velour hooded bathrobe with a large brown cross down the backside. I never really thought about this bathrobe in a religious manner before…until now. But for some reason, I became aware that it looked like something a church authority might wear around the house on his day off!

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We were standing in a sunken area of the living room next to the fireplace. The room had tall multi-angled cathedral ceilings (modern style…no fresco’s). On the wall above the fireplace was a large round sheepskin hanging. (or some long-haired animal skin). It reminded me of a round, world-globe. After all, as I just said, for some strange reason, everything was just now taking on a religious significance.

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Saint Francis of Assisi by Jusepe de Ribera – wikipedia – public domain

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“MONSIGNOR MOMENT” CONTINUES…

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And so I began to feel very “religiously ecclesiastical”. And if that wasn’t enough, as I began to lift my hands to pray, my arms began to lift themselves up, until they were above my head in prayer position, coming down slowly until they were in front of my face. My hands were folded together: something you might see a Pope do. But I had absolutely nothing to do with this! this was all involuntarily, being guided and controlled by an unseen power.

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Now it must be stated that my parents were not religious at all! None of us were, prior to all this. We were all a family of, well, pretty-much atheists, more or less. But at this moment, they put away their atheism. Now they were going along with all this for obvious reasons. And so I led them in some sort of prayer.

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Saint Francis of Assisi by Jusepe de Ribera – wikipedia – public domain

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“HAPPY TRAILS” TO AN OLD FRAT BRO

(“Happy Trails” was the title of the theme song for the very popular mid-twentieth-century movie-star, Roy Rogers)

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After this, my parents asked me to go with them for breakfast. So I cleaned up and put some slacks on, etc., and we went down to the Kopper Kitchen, a Denny’s-like restaurant, just several hundred yards from ours. It was Sunday morning and very busy. As we entered the restaurant, I was shocked to see a former fraternity brother, just leaving. This old frat-house bro, (who, btw, always somewhat reminded me of Roy Rogers, in looks, demeanor, and even his attire) was all excited about his present circumstances as an Eastern Oregon Cowboy (selling irrigation pipe), somewhere further east, up in Central Oregon.

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His “pull-yerself-up-by-yer-bootstraps” lifestyle made me feel kind of stupid, in view of my present circumstances. And having been escorted here by my parents didn’t help. Nevertheless I stuttered out a few acknowledgments, and then proceeded on our own separate ways.

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But at this moment, this was the least of my problems!

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Roy Rogers in Billy the Kid Returns – cropped image – Wikipedia – Public Domain

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“NAME THAT DOOM”, or “WHEEL OF MISFORTUNE”?

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All through the day I was going in and out of… hellish delusions! It seemed like I was in Hell! I couldn’t tell if I was truly in Hell or not. I couldn’t tell if people were real…or just demons inhabiting people’s bodies. Or maybe they were just some Devil-created illusions. I honestly didn’t know!

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By nightfall, my brother, mother, and father all came by the house. I was trying to leave in my car. They kept urging me to stay.

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It was then that someone suggested we all play a word game. And they were in agreement that this was a good idea. Okay. I didn’t mind either. So we began to play this little word game. Someone would think of a difficult word. Then everybody would try to think of a synonym. 

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Name That Doom – property of devouringfire.com 

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WORDS OF FIRE!

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Now as this game began, the words they chose seemed to have a hidden agenda…to condemn me! As a result, I immediately went into one of my delusional hellish moments. Now I can’t remember exactly which words they picked. But it went something like this…someone would say a word…like… “Quandary”. Then everyone had to find a synonym. So someone would answer with a word like “predicament!” Obviously, this word-game quickly began to appear like a conspiracy to me. A conspiracy by the unseen spirits. My family couldn’t have picked a worse word to use. Then it was time for a new word… “eternal”. Then someone would answer… “forever”. Then someone would say something like, “excruciating”, and another would answer… “unbearable”. Although I didn’t know a thing about the Bible, yet this following verse kind of captures what I was going through…

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“Howl ye; for the day of the LORD is at hand;

it shall come as a destruction from the Almighty.

Therefore shall all hands be faint, and every man’s heart shall melt:

 And they shall be afraid: pangs and sorrows shall take hold of them;

 they shall be in pain as a woman that travails.

 They shall be amazed one at another; their faces shall be as flames.”

Isaiah 13:6-8

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So I sat there listening to this word-game, feeling more and more frightened that these were devils in human bodies, sent to torment me. It felt like we were playing “Name that Doom”! Or perhaps you could call it, “Wheel of Misfortune”.

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Their faces didn’t seem real! Everything and everyone appeared to be straight from the fires of Hell! All I could do was to sit, silently listening. Terrified by each new word and each new definition! And with each new word came another frightening thought! The horror factor was so great that I felt like somebody had thrown me into “Dante’s vat of  fire and brimstone”!

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“…and he shall be tormented

with fire and brimstone

in the presence of the holy angels,

and in the presence of the Lamb:

And the smoke of their torment

ascends up for ever and ever:

and they have no rest day nor night,

who worship the beast and his image,

and whosoever receives the mark of his name.”

Revelation 14:11

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The Prophet Isaiah (Bible Card from 1904) – Wikipedia – public domain

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THE REAL HELL’S ANGELS …

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As this word game continued (my family was playing this game only to soothe me, as well as fill the void of dead-air space, probably while waiting for the local hospital to make preparations for my arrival), the words they used kept scaring me more and more. The words they chose, all seemed so relevant to my current situation!

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Finally I couldn’t take listening to this word-game anymore! I hopped up. I told them “I’m gonna go for a drive”.

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They also jumped up and got between me and the front door! They then tried to persuade me to go to the emergency room to see a doctor. I refused, but they kept up the persuasion. I told them “I don’t want to stay there!”, and they promised, “Oh no, it’s just for a short exam”.

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So I reluctantly went with them.

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Anyway, this game which was supposed to calm and pacify me, was so unbearable, that by the time we left for the hospital, I was again reduced to a “puddle of liquid”. I kind-of felt like that guy in the movie “Terminator”. You know, the guy who, whenever shot with bullets, would turn into a puddle of mercury. And then in a few moments, he would return into his solid body once again.

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Well, I was being blasted with bullets by the Hell’s Angels! No not the motorcycle gang (picture on left). These were the real thing!

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THE REAL HELL’S ANGELS!! 

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This next verse really says it all… “And to them (beasts from the bottomless abyss) it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man. And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.” Revelation 9:5, 6.

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Yeah! Torment like a scorpion when it strikes a man! That’s what it felt like! Like I was being struck by a giant scorpion!

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Hell’s Angel photo – probably cropped photo – wikipedia share-alike license.

 

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“CUCKOO’S NEST”…

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Now the only contact I’d ever had with the inside of a mental ward was from watching the movie, “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”, which movie I thought was great at the time I saw it! You know, that movie with Jack Nicholson, which was filmed in the Oregon State Hospital. And so needless to say, I had a really low opinion of mental wards. I mean, this movie had shock treatments and other really bizarre and terrifying stuff!

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And oh yeah…I also had my opinion on mental wards, formed from hearing that horrible song, “They’re Coming To Take Me Away!”. Do you remember that ugly song? Absolutely horrible and chilling! Not funny, one bit! I didn’t even think it was funny back in the 60′s when it was on radio. As a matter of fact, the song was banned in Salem, where the Oregon State Mental Hospital was. So others shared my low opinion of that horrible little, “song”.

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Picture copyrighted but used under “fair use” by Wikipedia. Click for “Fair-Use” information.

Cover of They’re Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Haaa! Rhino Records co. re-issue – Fair-Use Rationale – click here to see details

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“HEY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A VISIT !”

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After a short car-ride, we arrived at the emergency room of the local Medical Center. I don’t remember exactly how long we were there or what happened. But when it was suggested I go up into the mental ward, I flatly refused…“No!” After resisting their pleas, they decided to give me a shot of something to put me to sleep. “Chuck, this won’t hurt. It’s just something to relax you.”

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Of course, I refused again. So then, a nurse called for, “Mr. Strong”. And in a few minutes, three or four very large hospital workers came in. After refusing the needle one more time, they got a hold of me, along with my brother and dad, as well as one of my friends, who they called. So I fought as much as I could, but was quickly restrained. And after the needle went in, I immediately got weak and drowsy. I was placed on a mobile table (or gurney?) and wheeled up and down the hospital corridors. As this mobile gurney was rolling me up and down corridors, I was barely conscious as I gazed up at the hospital ceilings whisking by above, as well as the people who were wheeling me through the clinically pale yellow walls of the Medical Center. Then up an elevator. Then down the hall, and finally stopping at a certain door.

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In my drug-induced stupor, I could barely lift my head to see where they were taking me! My head probably felt like a bowling ball, it was so heavy! But I managed to lift it long enough to see the double-door entrance to this hospital ward, which obviously were the doors to the mental ward.

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But when I finally did lift up, I was totally shocked at what I saw! It was the number above the windows of the mental ward doors. It read “3600”! I couldn’t believe it! 3600! “Unit 3600?! Hey! That’s the address of our restaurant! 3600, South 6th Street!”, I thought to myself, “Oh no! What’s in store for me here?!” Words cannot describe the terror now going through me, as I realized that this was more than a mere coincidence.

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Was this all pre-planned by the spirit?

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Was I in some sort of Stephen King novel?

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Was this an episode of the Twilight Zone?

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Well, it was all of the above and then some!

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“VERY FUNNY! SO FUNNY I FORGOT TO LAUGH!” 

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Anyway, when once in Ward 3600, everybody became relieved and began joking together. And I just lay there, still on the gurney, half-conscious. And as they talked, they sounded to me like demons, engaging in taunting humor!

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For example, my dad was telling them a joke in order to describe my situation. He said, “Chuck really does want to help himself. But he’s like the guy with no arms and no legs who wanted to play baseball so bad, that he let them use him as home plate!” They laughed and my good buddy retorted, “I never appreciated your sense of humor before this, Chuck (My dad’s name is also Chuck).” As they walked out of the ward together. I thought to myself, “My friend doesn’t even know my dad! So why would he make the comment, ‘I never really appreciated your humor before’!?” So I just figured that these were merely two spirit-beings talking together through my friend and through my father. It seemed really satanic to me!

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So there I was! Stuck in 3600! No, not 3600, South 6th Street (the address of our family restaurant). No, this was now my new address in this mental ward. And now I was getting very sleepy. But still asking myself the question…”What’s in store for me up here? What do these ‘Hellish Powers’ have planned for me in this Cuckoo’s Nest?” At this point I dozed off…

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insane asylum The Rakes Progress – wikipedia – public-domain 

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To go to the next chapter, just click here …

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CH. 5: “One Flew “INTO” The Cuckoo’s Nest, Part 1: “Old Days!”

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What happened in the mental ward? Not what I expected!

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Click on credit links below each pic, for licensing names/details/tags/etc.. Most pics cropped/reduced in size

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Well, it had been just a few not-so-short hours after I was no longer an atheist!

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And likewise, it was just a few eye-opening hours after realizing that Christians don’t just “check their brains in at the door” about their “belief system”! 

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At last, I now knew why all those Christians looked so happy on Sunday afternoon, as I cut them a slice of beef (at our family restaurant). No, it wasn’t the beef nor even the baked ham they were smiling about (especially considering those thin slices I cut for them!)

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No, it was that they had just been with Jesus! In church!

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Now I was let in on the big secret of why Christians are so “fanatical” about their religion! Just a few hours ago, I had been violently thrust into the “biggest and best kept secret in town”…that it wasn’t just some “cockamamie lunacy” that Christians were deluded into believing! Not even was it some delusional mesmerism or mental disorder, produced by their overwhelming desire to find, “an escape from this doomed-existence…from a hopeless and bickering and dying world!”

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No, it was for REAL!!

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“CHRISTIANITY IS FOR REAL!!!”, was the astounding revelation now flooding my consciousness, like a giant tsunami!

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And so, let’s continue with this true account…

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The Scream – Wikipedia – Public Domain

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CHAPTER 3: .

 

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“WHERE YA GONNA RUN TO,

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ALL ON THAT DAY!?” 

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“FORTUNATE SON”?

(Creedence Clearwater 1969 mega-hit song title)

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I was now one of the lucky ones who had been let in on this End-Game-Exodus!

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I was now one of the fortunate few who were to escape from this Doomed Planet!

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I didn’t know how. Nor did I know just, “why me?”. After all, I was NOT exactly your typical Choir-boy type of individual.

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No, I was probably just the mirror-opposite of that! A Bad Boy! A young and arrogant fool who frequented bars, dimly-lit back-rooms, and smoky gambling halls!

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But for whatever reason…I was now among the redeemed. “Hallelujah! Amen and Amen”!

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And now…just now, it was my mission to get my hands on this mysterious tea…Ginseng. The Doom-saying Comedian-Prophet had spoken! The world was doomed! Its days were numbered! The fortunate few were going to be taken away! And for whatever reason, I and many others were to smoke this ancient Oriental herb!

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God only knows for what reason, (except for its uncanny human-like resemblance, symbolizing that mankind was to be burned up on the soon-coming Judgment Day!)

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But regardless of whatever other reason there might be, I had to get some…and get it, ASAP!

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

MI AND L’AU – GOOD MORNING JOKERS – 2009 By Mathieu Linotte share-alike license wikimedia

Wisconsin ginseng – cropped image – Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

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8 AM, THE NEXT MORNING…

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BUYING GINSENG…

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And as you can well imagine, the first thing I did the next morning, was to go down to the health food store, to buy this stuff called Ginseng!

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While paying for it, I looked intently, and somewhat confidentially asked the clerk, “I’ll bet you’re selling a lot of this stuff lately!”, to which she replied, (possibly in the same, knowing tone), “Oh yes…a lot!”

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Ah ha! It was just as I suspected!

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After this, I went down to the family business where I worked: a buffet restaurant. My mother and brother were both there in the office, and it didn’t take long for them to figure out that something was really really wrong! I can’t remember what I spoke to them about. Probably about “the end of the world for all those who do not have redemption!”

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Well, that certainly got their attention!

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Korean ginseng Hongsam – wikimedia – creative commons license

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“SMILING FACES, SMILING FACES”…

(Title of the 1971 song by “The Undisputed Truth”)

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Somehow they talked me into leaving my car at the restaurant, and to get a ride home with my brother’s girlfriend.

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Anyway, I knew she belonged to a Christian church of some type, so I just figured that she was one of the “saved ones”. I was in a kind-of, oh…I guess I would call it…uh…a state of melancholy…and…uh…combined with a euphoric…uh…and fateful resignation. Yes, I had resigned myself to accept the “end of the world”, thus putting me into this…oh, a… peaceful/bittersweet/melancholy kind of…uh…stoicism.

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Yeah, let’s just call it a “Rapturous Euphoria”.

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Anyway, I figured that this young Christian lady (my brother’s girlfriend) must also be going through the necessary preparation for whatever was going to happen to the “saved ones”. Not only her, but many other fortunate ones around town, and around the world!

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While she was driving me home, I noticed a few people smiling as they walked along the sidewalk. I asked her if she noticed people smiling more and more lately. She agreed with me that, “Yeah, I’ve noticed that too… people are smiling more lately”. 

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“Yep”, I thought, “She knows all about what’s happening!”

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

China Ginseng – creative commons license – cropped image – wikimedia

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“I Dreamed about my Mother, dear old Father…and Brother…”

(Lyric from the 1963, Bobby Bare hit, “Detroit City”)

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Now my brother and mother and dad were another story! No, you might say that the bars were my church!

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As a matter of fact, none of us were church-goers.

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And this caused me tremendous sorrow at this moment; to think that they were going to miss out on this incredible opportunity! “Oh that they would only smoke the Ginseng, symbolizing the destruction of humanity!”

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“Oh that they would only become saved by smoking that human-like herb!” 

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Wisconsin ginseng – cropped image – Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

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“…I’M A JOKER…I’M A MIDNIGHT TOKER…”

(Lyrics from the 1973, Steve Miller Band song, “The Joker”)

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Now, the same afternoon, I had to go into work. And, in spite of my very odd behavior, the restaurant had to remain open. And so, I somehow made it back to work (I just can’t recall this particular detail).

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Nevertheless, I worked through the evening shift.

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But late that night, after the restaurant closed, I finally locked the front doors, and went to the office. I rolled the Ginseng carefully.

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Just what would happen when I smoked this Ginseng? Would I be transported to some heavenly realm? Would I become a different being? Maybe like an angel? What was about to transpire? I just didn’t know. But one thing was for sure. I was going to find out! Soon! Very soon!

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So I took the joint…put it carefully to my mouth. I struck a match. Cautiously lit the joint. Then took a great big drag….

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Joint – Wikipedia – Public Domain

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DABBLED WITH DRUGS…

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Now, I had smoked Marijuana enough times in my past, to know what good Marijuana was. And I knew what bad Marijuana was. And in earlier years, a dozen times (or less), I had taken some synthetic Mescaline (Peyote), mostly small amounts. And one time, some “well-meaning” friends had put something in my wine, like Mescaline. (maybe I’ll tell about that ”bad trip” a little later.)

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But I didn’t really enjoy drugs, nor marijuana, because whenever high, the overwhelming fear came over me that I would never “come down”. And so, I just dabbled in them.

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Joint – Wikipedia – Public Domain

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ONE OF THE CHOSEN FEW…

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But now I was in a situation far beyond anything I had ever encountered! Now I was an atheist who just found out there was a God! And right at this moment I was about to walk into (or rather, be thrust into) something incomprehensible!

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Beyond space and time (as they say on TV)!

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But this wasn’t TV! No, this was for real! This was the end of all things as we know it! This was the door to Heaven itself! And I was about to enter in! Yes indeed! By smoking the fabled, “mankind-root”, Ginseng, I was gonna be…numbered along with the bless-ed ones…among the chosen few…yeah, definitely one of the fortunate sons!

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Nevertheless, it was sad to think that my family and friends might miss this incredible opportunity. I did have one good friend, however, who was a pretty serious Catholic. So he was probably doing this same thing, wherever he was…smoking the proverbial Ginseng-mankind-root, likewise escaping this fiery inferno, formerly known as, PLANET EARTH!

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So as I said, I took a big drag… and held it in as long as I could…and then I exhaled…

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Now really good Marijuana would often give a person a big rushing sensation upon the first drag. But the sensation I got from this Ginseng, was more like getting hit over the head with a rubber mallet!  I was stunned! I felt like that clown picture on the comedy album I had listened to the previous night (to read about, see previous chapter).

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Shocked!

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Surprised!

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Confounded!

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Something wasn’t right!

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Everything in the room looked different! Like I just now saw it for the first time!

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Judgment Day – Lightmatter burningman by Aaron Logan for wikimedia share-alike license

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THE JOKE’S ON ME!…

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I looked on the office desk, as if I hadn’t even noticed the desk before. I saw a hand-written note lying on the desk. I picked it up. It said…“Sorry I missed you this afternoon, and sorry the others can’t come. See you in a few days, when we can spend time together….love…..(Your Girlfriend)”

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The note was obviously written to my brother from his girlfriend (that Christian gal who gave me the ride, earlier in the day!). She said she would see him soon! Since she was one of the “insiders”, then it was obvious! This note to tell my brother that he was going to be in some sort of paradise…with her…the Christian? The overwhelming realization burst out upon me, that THE JOKE…..WAS ON ME!!!

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I probably read it once again… “Sorry I missed you this afternoon, and sorry the others can’t come. See you in a few days, when we can spend time together….love…..”

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“I’M A JOKER”, BUT THE JOKE’S ON ME!!!…

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“Oh no!” I realized that it wasn’t me that was going to be saved! It was my brother! I was fooled! The tables were turned, as they say! The Ginseng wasn’t to save me! IT WAS TO DAMN ME! AND MAYBE COUNTLESS OTHERS TOO! THIS WAS SOME SORT OF SATANIC JOKE OR SOMETHING!! The devils were probably rolling on the floor laughing, over this one!

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That clown picture was me! The comedian in the pink angelic suit was…my brother! This was a big turn-about I didn’t expect! I was the butt-end of a cruel joke! AND THE JOKE’S ON ME!!!  AND RIGHT NOW COMEDY WAS NOT PRETTY!! RIGHT NOW, COMEDY WAS PRETTY CRUEL! CRUEL…BEYOND BELIEF!!!!!

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I could see in my mind that hideous-looking comedian on the front-cover of that album, (dressed like a woman). Mocking me! Saying something like, “Too bad you poor schmuck! Too bad your NOT gonna be saved! Too bad it’s your Judgment Day! Too bad you’re the one going to Hell! The jokes on you, and comedy is not pretty!”

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The above drawing shows this deluded man, surrounded by phony props, causing him to think he’s in Heaven, when actually, he’s about to be dragged down into the lowest Hell.

Comedy is not pretty – Wikipedia – Non-Free-Media-rationale

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APOCALYPSE NOW…

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I could imagine that clown! That clown was me! This whole experience I was going through, was more unbelievable than any horror movie! This wasn’t just a bad drug experience that would eventually wear off!

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THIS WAS JUDGMENT DAY! MY JUDGMENT DAY!!

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(Although I didn’t know about Bible prophecy, I had, however, heard of Judgment Day.)

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A CHILDHOOD MEMORY…

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As a matter of fact, I remember long, long ago, when I was in grade school, back in the 1950’s, as a number of kids were talking together, one warm summer evening on the school-grounds, as we finished up our day of playing. Yeah, I still have a faint image of that scene. I distinctly remember that one of the kids was telling the rest of us about some lady who had seen a vision of Judgment Day.

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And so, after hearing that, I would lay in bed at night, thinking about Judgment Day. And in my young mind (I was about 6 years old at the time), I envisioned all the people in the neighborhood lined up on our grade-school-grounds (just across the street from our home, back then), waiting to be judged by God!

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But that was a long long time ago! And as I said, my 15 years of public schooling/college had pretty much wiped away any traces of such “superstitious rubbish and primitive folklore, all collected in a book of fables, called, The Bible”!

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And now I was an adult. Now I knew all that Heaven/Hell stuff was a bunch of hogwash… a mere product of primitive man’s imagination…to frighten people into being good! To explain the unexplainable! I was groomed from childhood to believe in Darwin’s evolution!

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But at this horrifying and fateful moment, I was face-to-face with eternal judgment! Now I had just come to the realization that I had been duped! All that atheism business was just a whole lot of nonsense! It was the scam-of-all-scams! HOGWASH!!!

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But now it was too late! Too late for me!

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Now I realized I wasn’t on the highway to Heaven!

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No, rather, I was actually on the HIGHWAY TO HELL!!! 

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Judgment Day – Apocalypse – by Gebhard Fugel

Charles Darwin – by John Collier (artist) – www.wikimedia.com – Public Domain

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“LEFT BEHIND?”… 

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Another terrifying thought came to me... ”Has my brother been already taken?” I thought. “And Mom and Dad too?…Are they gone from earth, as well?” Maybe they were taken, too! I had to find out. Could this be the night in which all the saved people would be taken away!? (I’m not sure if I knew the term “Rapture” at this point in my life. I’m not even sure that I knew the concept of a Rapture. It just might be, that the spirit being was putting this entire “Rapture” concept into my mind. I just can’t recall at this point. I knew that the book, the “Late Great Planet Earth” was very popular. But I never read it! I was too smart and too busy for such nonsense like that!)

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Louis Janmot wikimedia US public domain

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“WERE THEY TAKEN?”

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I rushed out of the restaurant, got into my RX-7, and raced home! When I arrived, I first went to see if my parents were there. Maybe they had also been taken! Maybe I would find their lifeless bodies! Or maybe I’ll find just their clothes that they were wearing, simply “left behind”! The house that I lived in was a very recent joint-venture between my parents, my brother and myself. My parents also had a house on Upper Klamath Lake, about 30 miles away. So they stayed in this house when they didn’t want to drive up to the lake.

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I rushed into the house. I went straight to their room. I saw that my parents weren’t there. And it looked like they hadn’t even been there. “They probably stayed up at the lake tonight!”, I thought.

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Second Coming – Return – Resurrection Morning – Jan Luyken – Bible – Wikipedia – US Public Domain (2)

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“BETTER WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF, CHUCK!”…

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So after seeing my parents hadn’t been there, I then rushed down the stairs to my brother’s room. I looked in, only to see his lifeless body lying there!

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I shook him to see if he was still alive. He didn’t move! “Oh no!”, I thought, “He’s gone…or dead…or whatever!” I shook him again really hard and long. He finally woke up, and asked “What the H%$#!’s the matter?” I answered, “I was worried about you!” to which he replied, “You better just worry about yourself, Chuck.” He then rolled back into his previous posture, and pulled his pillow over his head.

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And so I turned from his room, thinking about his comment, “You better just worry about yourself.” And as I walked away from his room, I thought to myself, “Sounds like my brother knows that I’m in trouble with God.”

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COMEDY IS NOT PRETTY, REVISITED…

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After this episode, I went to the stereo to listen again to comedy album. This time it was even more terrifying than the previous night!

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CRUEL SHOES…

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As I listened once again, the comedy routines became extremely condemning. Especially this one called “Cruel Shoes”. This is a routine about trying on new shoes at a shoe store. The salesman only has one pair of shoes left in the store, the “Cruel Shoes”. These shoes had razor blades, and other impossible angles and turns making them excruciatingly painful to wear! But in spite of this, the customer said, “I’ll take em!”. And so the customer walked (or rather, crawled) out of the store, with this new pair of “Cruel Shoes”. And this routine ends with another customer coming in, and asking the shoe salesman for a pair of shoes. The salesman says, in a very ominous and mysterious tone, “I only have one pair left…the CRUEL SHOES!”.

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Listening to this was just as excruciating as those Cruel Shoes must have felt! As a matter of fact, I was convinced that the Cruel Shoes symbolized Judgment Day. My Judgment Day! Maybe everybody’s Judgment Day!!

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“HOW TO NOT PAY YOUR INCOME TAXES !”

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There was an especially painful “comedy” bit about not “How To Become A Millionaire, Without Paying Any Income Taxes”. “It’s very simple! Just don’t pay them”, said the comedian. He then continued, “And if the IRS asks you why you didn’t pay them, you just simply reply (very boldly), ‘I FORGOT’!”. Now this was very very painful for me. After all, I had “pocketed” maybe twenty to forty thousand dollars over the past few years from our cash register (1970’s money). And now listening to this comedy album was like standing before the Judgment Throne of God Almighty! I was caught! I was caught “red-handed” by God with my “fingers in the till”! The comedian continues, “And if the IRS tells you that it’s against the law to not pay your taxes, you simply say to them…’WELL, EXCU-U-U-SE ME!!!”

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Now, this line, “WELL EXCUSE ME!!!” was this comedians signature comedy line. And after the comedian said this, the audience was hysterical with laughter. And on any previous night I would’ve been hysterically laughing right along with them. But I wasn’t laughing now! Now I was terrified beyond words! Now I was caught with my “hand in the cookie jar”! Heaven had been watching me, and I didn’t even know it!

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And there were other condemning cuts on that comedy album, too!

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Stack of money wikimedia public domain

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DIDN’T KNOW I WAS BEING WATCHED!!

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So after listening to this album again, I knew I was in serious trouble with God. Especially the story of the atheist who dies, and finds himself standing before God. This was me! This was just like my own personal situation. “Oh no!” I had been embezzling money from the restaurant!  Never knew I was being watched as I did this! But now I knew that there was a God! And He saw me doing a whole lot of bad stuff, over my lifetime! And now it seemed like God’s giant accusing finger was pointing directly down at me!

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And I realized I couldn’t simply say, “Well, excuse me!”

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“SINNERMAN…WHERE YA GONNA RUN TO?”

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I also thought of how I sometimes gave other people a bad time; making fun of “funny looking” people! I was a great mocker. I thought of how I even, once or twice, made fun of crippled people (as I’ve already said). And often mocked people who were “different” in some way. I wasn’t exactly a compassionate person, as a young man. Just stupid, quite often!

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And what about the pep pills I used to buy and trade with friends?

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And I thought of how I would beat people down on real estate prices. I even beat down a few church ministers on their home prices. And what about the matter of adultery? “Oh no! I’m in big trouble!”

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And now, now, I realized that my sinful past was coming back to haunt me! To judge me! Words can’t describe just how horrible it was to be standing before a Holy and just God!

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It was like that old song. You know. “Oh sinnerman, where ya gonna run to…all on that day” Well if you don’t remember, just click here to listen…”Sinnerman“

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

The Scream of Nature – Wikipedia – Public Domain

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WHY DID THEY DO IT IN THE ROAD?

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On this very night, I can’t remember if I saw any similarity between what I was going through and what the Manson family went through, years earlier, as they began getting messages from that infamous “Beatle White Album”. Are you old enough to remember that? The Mansons (followers of Charles Manson) began receiving instructions from the various songs on that Beatle album, as if those songs were specially written for them.  Such as “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?” They interpreted this song to mean that they were supposed to murder someone in “the middle of the road”! Those messages eventually inspired them to commit perhaps the most bizarre and satanic murders ever committed. This tiny cult, led by that very infamous satanic cult-leader, Charles Manson, were literally dripping in Satanism. They put crosses or swastikas in the middle of their forehead. Manson enjoyed being scary-looking and scary-behaving. The whole Manson episode and trial following was entirely cryptic and crazy and really evil!

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I don’t think I even thought about the similarity between them and what I was going through, at this point. I know that I saw the similarity at some later point in time. I’m convinced the Manson family members were being led by spirit beings, even though at the time they were in the news, I didn’t believe in spirit powers.

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But whether or not it was clear to me at this moment, I nevertheless was going through something very similar. Obviously, it’s a repugnant idea to have any association with Charles Manson’s hideous crimes. But in the interest of truth, the comparison must be made. Fortunately, by the grace of God, I was never involved in any violence. And I pray that they might also find Jesus before they die.

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Charles-manson booking photo charles manson wikipedia public domain

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SLEEPLESS IN SHEOL…

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The rest of the night went…uh…very badly as you can well imagine! The entire focus now changed. No more was I thinking about smoking Ginseng. Smoking Ginseng and becoming “saved” now gave way to the realization that I was in big big trouble with God! My life of sin was now being judged…and I was guilty, guilty, guilty!!!

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And merely saying, “Well, EXCUSE ME!”, was not an option!

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At least, it wasn’t an option for me!

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“WELCOME TO HELL”…

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This spirit became very accusing. At one point, it convicted me that I must die. God didn’t want me around anymore. The spirit also began to paint a terrible and frightening portrait of a fiery Hell. I was given a very terrifying image of what Hell would be like. I don’t know exactly how long this condemnation went on. But for most of the night, I guess. It finally crescendoed to the point where I decided that I must die…even though I would have to go to Hell!

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I began to imagine Hell and how horrible it must be! What made Hell so terrifying was that it never ended! It just went on and on and on and on…FOREVER!!!

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These thoughts were frightening beyond belief!

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Hell – wikipedia – public domain

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“…DEATH SHALL FLEE FROM THEM”

Revelation 9:6 

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It was now dawn. I’d been up all night. But now the spirit directed me to lay down. And so, I got on my bed and just lay there. Now, what in God’s name did he want me to do!?!

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I felt my arms slowly raise up as if the unseen being was in control. My arms then went down onto the bed, stretched out, as if I was hanging on a cross position (while still laying on my bed). Okay, so hanging on a cross wasn’t so bad. After all, Jesus did that! But then my arms both raised until they were folded on top of each other over my chest. As I thought about this, I realized that I was in the same position as a corpse in a coffin! NOT GOOD! And as I lay in this position, I felt my heart begin to beat stronger and stronger!

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This went on for some time. It got to the point that I thought my heart was going to explode! But I finally decided that was okay. “Just get it over with!”, I thought to myself.

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But as I laid there, I was very aware that I was probably going to Hell. There was no escape from my destiny. I was going down into Hell, probably in a few moments.

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Pounding and more pounding. Closer to death. Closer to Hell! And closer to the inevitable eternal torment!

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Finally it got to the point that I urinated in my clothes and on my bed. I thought, “Well that’s natural for someone who’s dying”.

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Above Painting : Hell Jan_van_Eyck_Diptych_Crucifixion_Right_Detail_1-wikipedia-US-public-domain.jpg

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“PROPHECY FULFILLED”...

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After this, to my utter disappointment, my heart began to pound less and less. After a few moments it returned to normal. I finally realized that death was not going to happen. At least, not for now. I really wanted to die. But the Grim Reaper had just left the room. (“And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.” Revelation 9:6). But this would not be my last attempt. This was just playschool, compared to what lay ahead for me!

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As I lay there in my disappointment, I heard somebody coming through the front door of the house…Who could it be? Who?…

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Judgment Day – People fleeing – Book of Revelation – Wikimedia – Creative Commons – Distant Shores Media/Sweet Publishing – Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

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To go to the next chapter, just click here …

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SPECIAL PAGE:

Sinnerman, Where Ya Gonna Run To?”

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Listen to this very unnerving youtube song!

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Click on credit links below each pic, for licensing names/details/tags/etc.. Most pics cropped/reduced in size

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CHAPTER 2:

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“ATHEIST-2-BELIEVER… 

IN 1-SECOND-FLAT!”   

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December 1979, 2 am.

(Six months later, after the Grand Canyon trip)

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(Music and singing)…

“…..How long… has this been goin on?”

“Please tell me, how long… has this been goin on?”

“HOW LONG !!?”

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The song suddenly ends. A few hands clap. Very few hands!

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The singer says “goodnight”, gets her coat and leaves. A hand turns off the electric piano, and then turns off the various amplifiers. A lone figure gets up from his keyboard and grabs his coat. Walks across the dance-floor, straight to the exit. The bartender looks up from cleaning his station, nods a half-smile and says “goodnight”.

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Outside in the dark parking lot, the piano player, little doubt, lights up a cigarette, looks around at the mostly empty parking lot, and shakes his head. Takes another drag, then walks over, and gets into a metallic-black car.  In a moment, the sports-car pulls out… into the street called South 6th. Driving its way down the dark road…speeding off into what lies just ahead.

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In a few minutes, this same car rolls onto a driveway on the other side of town…at 800 Hillside. The garage door slowly rises. The little black RX-7  rolls into its place. After shutting down the engine, the piano player gets out, stepping through the door, into a galley-style kitchen. He sees he’s alone. He thinks of pouring himself a bourbon and 7-Up, but decides instead to go straight to bed. Probably pauses for a moment to look down at the city lights below. “What a lousy night at the club!”, he perhaps mutters, “Wish it coulda been like last week!” After another moment he turns toward his room. Entering, he throws his clothes to the side, and climbs into bed. Little does he know what (or who) is waiting for him inside this room. Little does he realize that in a few seconds, his life will never be the same!

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You see, this young man is about to be thrust into Hell!

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And he doesn’t even believe there’s a Heaven!

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Keane1 – Yamaha Electric Grand – courtesy Wikipedia & Yummifruitbat – Picture of unknown person and not of Chuck

The Scream Wikipedia public domain by edvard munch c.1893

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NO HELL BELOW US?…

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Oh! You don’t believe there’s a Hell, either?

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And you scoff at the notion that Hell could possibly extend even to the here-and-now, on Planet Earth?

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Well, I’m the guy in this story. At least, I was him! And I’ve got to tell his story. And I can personally testify that there is a Hell! And this story may prove to you that Hell indeed exists…right here…and right now!

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Or…or it may only prove to you to be “Just a lot of nonsense!”

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And no one’s gonna blame you for thinking that!

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But just read for yourself, and judge for yourself. 

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Devil and Hell’s Torment – Polyptyque de la Vanité terrestre et de la Rédemption céleste-Hans Memling – cropped photo by this website – Photo by Rama for Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 France license

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MY JUDGMENT DAY…

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Scripture says…“If any man worship the beast and his image, and receive his mark in his forehead, or in his hand… he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone… And the smoke of their torment ascends up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night…”  Revelation 14:9, 10

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I had never read this passage. And I knew almost nothing about the Bible!

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Oh yes, I went to church as a little boy. But that was a long, long time ago. And secular public schooling pretty much wiped away my belief in “all that nonsense!” After all, those stories about a guy being swallowed by a fish. And some dude in a lion’s den, etc.… “Come on! Please! Don’t give me those fairy-tales!”

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THE EXORCIST…

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But as far as Bible prophecy, I hardly even knew it existed! The church I attended as a boy didn’t talk about those things. At least I never heard it spoken there. And now I was almost 30. I laughed at all such “superstition”!

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To prove this point, I recall a few years earlier than this fateful night, while watching Johnny Carson recount how terrifying a certain new movie was, a movie called “The Exorcist”. I marveled at how Johnny talked about the movie as if it was real. “Come-on Johnny! You don’t really believe that stuff!?!”, I thought.

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And so, I decided to see that so-called “terrifying movie”, “The Exorcist”, a few weeks later. And just as I suspected. It didn’t scare me in the slightest! It was all a lot of ridiculous fantasy!

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Yeah, a whole lot of superstitious gobbledygook! Just like that other movie I saw a few years after the Exorcist, “Dawn of the Dead! What a joke!”. A story of a time just after some cataclysmic event, in which so many people die, that there is no more room in Hell.

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This concept was, no doubt, a theme based on the following Bible verse… “Therefore…saith the LORD, that it shall no more be called Tophet, nor the valley of the son of Hinnom (Gehenna), but the valley of slaughter: for they shall bury in Tophet, till there be no place.” Jeremiah 7:32. 

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Yeah, the world was teeming with half-dead zombies, roaming the Earth, looking for a “good meal”. As far as I was concerned, you could file ’em both under the same category… “REDICULOUS NONSENSE!”

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Exorcist ver2 – wikipedia – fair-use-rationale – see details of Fair-Use Rationale by clicking here 

Dawn of the dead – Wikipedia – Fair-Use-Rationale – see details by clicking on this link

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“THIS NIGHT…THY SOUL SHALL BE REQUIRED”…

Luke 12:20

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Of course, just because I didn’t believe in all this religious stuff, didn’t mean that it wasn’t true (the existence of Hell, that is). And just because I didn’t think there was a God, didn’t excuse me from Judgment Day. I was like that rich fool in the Bible who was busy building his little empire. This young, proud, arrogant, rich fool thought to himself… “Eat, drink and be merry. for I have enough goods stored up to last for many years.” (Luke 12:19). And just like that foolish man in that Bible story, little did I know that this very night, my soul would be required of me!

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To read this parable, just click here… “Parable of the Rich Fool…

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“SINNERMAN, WHERE YA GONNA RUN TO…ALL ON THAT DAY?”…

(Lyrics from the African-American traditional song, “Sinnerman”)

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My number had come up!

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My arrogant unbelief was just about to receive a fatal blow!

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And my blissful ignorance was about to implode!

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I was going to get the ultimate rude awakening!

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The Armies of Hell were about to make a stop at my front door. And the Death Angel was riding furiously down the clouds from Heaven with sickle in hand…right towards my house!

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And I was just about to get thrown into the midst of a spiritual battlefield that I didn’t even believe existed!

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It was now my “Armageddon”. And I was totally unprepared for the firestorm which was about to burst down upon me! Yeah, I was that SINNERMAN in that old song, “Sinnerman, Where Ya Gonna Run To?”.

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And there was nowhere I could run to! And there was certainly no place I could hide! 

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“Death Angel” courtesy www.creationism.org see Dore’ Art Gallery.

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ON THE ROAD TO ‘DAMNING-US’…

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Well, back to my story.

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So I (the piano player) went to my bedroom, still not suspecting anything abnormal. But then, just as I laid down in bed, my body began to tremble…uncontrollably! I immediately sensed I wasn’t alone! And I knew there was an unseen entity in my room! The following Bible verse pretty much describes the situation…

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“Fear came upon me, and trembling,

which made all my bones to shake.

Then a spirit passed before my face;

the hair of my flesh stood up:

It stood still, but I could not discern the form thereof…

there was silence…”

Job 4:14-16

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This above passage from the Bible pretty much fits what I was going through. But I didn’t know a thing about the Bible back then.

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But I could sense he was hovering above the bedroom door and just below the tall cathedral ceiling. And I also knew I was to ask him questions.

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Looking back on all this, I now realize this was the antithesis of the Apostle Paul, getting his call from Jesus to become a Believer while he was on the road to Damascus (Acts Ch. 9).

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Paul got his call from Jesus. I, on the other hand, was getting a call from the forces of darkness. There was no bright light shining down on me from Heaven, like Paul experienced! There was only dark, cryptic silence! Paul was on the “road to Damascus”. But I was on the “road to Damnation“! And yet, in spite of my mirror-opposite circumstance from Paul, I nevertheless was supposed to ask this invisible intruder the very same question that Paul asked Jesus, “What do you want me to do?”…

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“What do you want me to do?” I uttered to this unseen spirit, in a terror-stricken voice. But there was no response.

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“Do you want me to go for a drive?” (Nothing! My body still trembling.)

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“Do you want me to get a drink?” (I didn’t know what to ask this spirit…in sheer terror, I was merely trying to ask something innocuous. I was totally horrified!)

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“Do you want me to go to the bathroom?” As you can imagine, I had to go badly. My body stopped trembling, so I took this to indicate “yes”. So after going, I returned to my room, and the trembling returned.

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“Do you want me to turn on my video recorder?”… My body got completely calm, and I realized that’s what he wanted me to do.

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“That’s it!”

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So I got up and began to rewind the recorder, not knowing what it was he wanted me to see. I had set the recorder to record the Johnny Carson Show earlier that night, before I left for the club. (I did this so I could watch it after I got home.) After a few minutes of rewinding, I sensed that he wanted me to stop it. So I did. I then turned on my TV, and sat back down on my bed to watch whatever he wanted me to watch.

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Paul Converted – www.thebiblerevival.com

early model JVC wikimedia creative commons license

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ENTER THE JOKER…

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The playback began, and it was in the middle of the Carson Show. A very popular comedian was just walking on as Carson’s special guest. This was the same comedian I spoke of in Chapter 1. This comedian was the main reason I had preset my recorder that evening. I thought he was absolutely the funniest comedian I’d ever seen and heard! And millions of young Americans felt the exact same way. So I didn’t want to miss him. And that’s why I recorded him.

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But nothing was funny right now at this moment. Still I watched, not having a clue about what I was going to see.

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MI AND L’AU – GOOD MORNING JOKERS – 2009 By Mathieu Linotte share-alike license wikimedia

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BURNING THE ROOT OF MANKIND…GINSENG !?!…

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The comedian sits down and after some introductions, he pulls out a hand-rolled cigarette, as if it’s a joint of Marijuana. Carson looks surprised. The comedian tells him that it’s a joint made of Ginseng. The audience laughs, because ginseng, obviously, is normally taken as a healthy tea product and not smoked as a hallucinogen! Next the comedian pulls out of his coat a small ginseng herb. He shows the root to Johnny. He points out to Johnny that the ginseng root is shaped like a man’s body.

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(The English word ginseng derives from the Chinese term rénshēn (simplified: 人参; traditional: 人蔘), literally “man root” (referring to the root’s characteristic forked shape, resembling the legs of a man) Information courtesy Wikipedia.)

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Now I’m sitting there watching all this in horror and amazement, asking myself, “What in the world does this have to do with me!?!” Still I continued to watch…my body in icy-cold terror!

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SPECIAL MESSENGER…

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Next, the comedian lights this ginseng joint and takes an enormous drag, and holds it in, as if he’s smoking Marijuana. He then offers Johnny some, and finally convinces Carson to take it. The audience is still laughing. As this “gag” is going on, the comedian is completely deadpan serious. As a matter of fact, the comedian seems as though he knows something no one else knows. Like he knows a big secret! At least, this is how he came off, to my thinking!

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To me it looked like he was trying to get a message across to the viewers. He begins to tell Carson that everyone has to try some ginseng. Or at least that’s the impression I got out of all this. I began to understand why this unseen being wanted me to watch this segment of the Carson Show.

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Photo of Ginseng courtesy of  Wikipedia and “Share-alike” License by Richardfabi, click here for link

Lightmatter burningman by Aaron Logan for wikimedia share-alike license

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NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST?…

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When this scene ended, the Invisible One urged me to turn the TV off. As I thought about all this, I now understood this ginseng episode. It came into my mind that this comedian was some specially appointed messenger. God probably chose him! And God had him come on the Carson show to give this “special message”! And the comedian knew all about these things!

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And this was the message: The ginseng root symbolized Mankind. “The burning of the Ginseng cigarette symbolized the destruction of Mankind”.

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That’s it! “The world is going to end!!!”, I thought to myself. “And only those who smoke the ginseng root will be saved!” And this comedian was showing people like me, just what needs to be done before the world ends…in some fiery nuclear holocaust!

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SMOKE THE GINSENG…

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And maybe I too had been chosen as a representative in my little community to get as many people as possible in my town, to smoke this man-shaped ginseng root. And of course, whoever would smoke the ginseng would be saved. This was some sort of orchestrated effort by these unseen spirits to save people of the world.

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PLEASE, PLEASE, DON’T LEAVE!

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Now I have to say something right now. I know how crazy this sounds. But when going through this, it didn’t seem crazy at all! It actually made perfect sense at the time. And this story might start to make more sense to you if you will just stay with it.

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Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication

Lightmatter burningman by Aaron Logan for wikimedia share-alike license

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NIGHT OF TERROR…

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After this, I began to tremble once again. I realized that I needed to ask more questions to this spirit.

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“What should I do?” No response. Body still trembling.

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“Should I go downstairs… and listen to his new album?” My body got calm once again. “That’s it!” That’s what I was to do! And so I suppose I got my clothes back on at this point. I went downstairs, and found a brand-new record album by this same comedian, that I had just purchased a day or so earlier.

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COMEDY ISN’T PRETTY…

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The cover of this record album was of the comedian’s face. His face was made up like a woman with heavy lipstick and woman’s wig, etc. He had a bored look, a sort of smug expression on his face… and had his lips puckered. The name of the album was “Comedy Is Not Pretty”. I agree. His morbid impression of a woman wasn’t pretty! But more than this, his pose looked like a sick joke! Like he was mocking the people of the world!

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THE CLOWN…

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On the back cover of this album was a picture of a clown with a surprised look on his face, an expression of shock (the sketch on left is mine). And there appeared to be little dots on the picture, which seemed to me, to be target-points. This seemed to indicate that this clown symbolized Mankind. In other words, Mankind was the target of this soon-coming nuclear holocaust. “This makes perfect sense!” I thought to myself. “Mankind is like that surprised clown, as we become the target of a soon-coming nuclear war that will bring… Doomsday! It’s gonna take us all by surprise!” I leaned my head back, “Yes, that’s it!…Doomsday!”

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Clown sketch on left is mine and is much different than the original.

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FOLD-OUT…

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I removed the clear plastic, and opened the double-jacket. Inside was a large picture of this comedian onstage wearing his famous white suit. He was standing on stage with a microphone, obviously performing before an audience. His white suit glowed with a bright pink hue from the stage lights. This picture just seemed to be the antithesis of the clown picture. The comedian appeared to be angelic looking, with this pinkish aura glowing around him. His infamous clip-on bunny ears and his pink suit reminded me of Easter. And of course, Easter brought to mind “resurrection” and Christianity.

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THE SAVED…AND THE DAMNED…

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So with these two contrasting figures; the sinister-looking clown in shock, and the angelic stand-up comic, it seemed that this was the picture of the two classes of humans living in these last moments of Earth’s history: the damned…and the saved.

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Upon opening this new record album, I carefully placed it on the turn-table. But what message did this comedian have in store? Rather, what message did this unseen being have to give through this comedian? What would I hear on this comedy album? I sat down in a chair and listened…

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“SPACE ARK”…

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This routine was about a giant space ark that took thousands of people to another planet, because planet Earth was destroyed. Of course this made sense, because it seemed to correlate with what the comedian was saying on the Carson Show. (This Space-ark was a comedy gag, and would normally have been funny to me.)

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“DROP-THUMB MELODY”…

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This was simply a serious banjo instrumental. But the name, “Drop-Thumb Melody”, was the real focus. It was as if this song was some gruesome musical tribute to whoever pushes the button that starts the soon-coming nuclear holocaust. I listened in horror. “Oh God! We’re in big trouble! God is giving the world, the big ‘Thumbs Down’!!!”

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Thumbs down – cropped image – Wikimedia – Creative Commons 2.0 License

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“HOSTAGES”…

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There was another bit about hostages. I can only guess at this point that I must have put this routine together with the “Space-Ark”. Hostages being those who were to be damned.

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There were other routines on this album, but I don’t remember how much I got out of them. But these few I’ve mentioned were the most poignant. There may have been one or two other gags that fit what I was being “enlightened” about. But these few were enough to scare the “livin’ wits outta me”!

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Iran hostages wikipedia public domain

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“ATHEIST MEETS GOD”…

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This next routine was about an atheist who dies, and finds himself face-to-face with God. Obviously, the atheist was standing on Judgment Day. The atheist exclaims to God, “I thought all those stories about God existing, were just a lot of  B#!%$&T!!’  Whoops! Excuse me, God!” And the routine continues with the atheist making other such blunders before a holy God.

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“CRUEL SHOES”…

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There was another routine about “trying on new shoes at a shoe store”. The salesman only has one pair of shoes left in the store, ”The Cruel Shoes”! These shoes are Italian cuts. But also they have razor blades, and other impossible angles and turns making them extremely painful to wear. The customer goes crawling out the door with bleeding feet. (This story took on a greater significance later on. I’ll explain later.)

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FALLING ANGEL…

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After this I went back to my bedroom. As I was lying in bed, my eyes began to play tricks on me. This is what happened:

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As I was laying there, my eyes kind of went crossed…enough so that a certain light from the city below began to look almost like a tiny dancing, or twirling something-or-other. At that moment, I thought it appeared like a little “Tinker Bell”, or perhaps a tiny angel. I’m not exactly sure what thoughts passed through my mind regarding this phenomenon. Anyway, somehow this unseen spirit caused my eyes to cross in such a way, that this little figurine of light slowly danced or twirled it’s way down, and eventually to the floor. Or perhaps this thing was very slowly falling down the window almost to the floor. Now that I think of it, as I’m writing this, I guess maybe it kind-of looked like an angel falling and twirling down from heaven…down, down, down to Earth.

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Other than this, I can’t recall how I spent the rest of the night. But one thing for sure; I didn’t get any sleep that night!

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Lucifer Fallen – Gustave Dore – Wikipedia – US Public Domain

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To go to the next chapter, just click here …

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Ch. 3: Where Ya Gonna Run To,

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All On That Day?”…   

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The 2nd day. What happens when comedy comes back to bite you?

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