Ch. 10: “Left Behind (1 Tin Soldier)”

By admin On December 8th, 2012

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Click on credit links below each pic, for licensing names/details/tags/etc.. Most pics cropped/reduced in size

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It was afternoon, about ten days since my atheism came to a screeching halt.

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The_Scream Wikipedia public domain by edvard munch c.1893

The past ten days made me feel as though the world had become some HellishHouse-of-Horrors! I had met this spirit-being, or rather, he manifested himself to me one fateful night. And I had been reduced to a proverbial “puddle of liquid” as I fearfully listened to the Comedian and his Omen of Doom for the world (i.e., his comedy album)

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I had the most cruel trick played on me by the spirits, thinking I was one of the chosen-few for Heaven: only then to discover I was actually one of the unfortunate-many, destined for Hell…Eternal Hell!

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Devil and Hell’s Torment – Polyptyque de la Vanité terrestre et de la Rédemption céleste-Hans Memling – cropped photo by this website – Photo by Rama for Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 France license

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https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Clinton_09.jpg?uselang=eo“NOTHING IS REAL”

(Lyrics from the 1967 John Lennon song, “Strawberry Fields Forever”)

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More than this, I was being frightened beyond belief over the prospects of spending an eternity of torment by Hell’ Angels (no, not the motorcycle gang)!

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And if that wasn’t enough, I was going in and out of these hellish, nightmarish…uhhh…illusions…if they were indeed illusions; illusions that people were some sort of imaginary images conjured up to taunt and mock and torment me till my heart burst right out of my chest, or perhaps to torture me until forever-and-a-day!

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Devil and Hell’s Torment – Polyptyque de la Vanité terrestre et de la Rédemption céleste-Hans Memling – cropped photo by this website – Photo by Rama for Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 France license

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SPIRIT VERY CHANGEABLE

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Then of course, the nightclub experience, in which I was told that the world was coming to an abrupt fiery end…which it didn’t come to an end, after all. 

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So this was all really confusing because I was getting conflicting messages…at times being told I was one of the lucky saved ones…and then at other times I was one of the UNlucky doomed ones.

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But what could I do? There was absolutely nothing I could do! Someone else was in charge. I guess that famous one-liner really puts it well. You know the one-liner from a certain movie… “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night.”

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But now I’ll share with you just a few of the most memorable moments of these netherworld torments which occurred on this, the tenth day…

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Devil and Hell’s Torment – Polyptyque de la Vanité terrestre et de la Rédemption céleste-Hans Memling – cropped photo by this website – Photo by Rama for Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 France license

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CHAPTER 10:

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“LEFT BEHIND”  

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https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Clinton_09.jpg?uselang=eo“WHO–WHO–WHO WROTE THIS BOOK OF LOVE?!!” …

(corruption of the 1957 song, “Who Wrote The Book Of Love?” by The Monotones)

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A friend came by to take me to see one of her friends.

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She drove me over to one of her church-member’s house. We parked in front of a nice older home in one of the nicer, older sections of Klamath. A well-dressed, white-haired lady answered the door, and asked us in. Then after probably a few moments of formalities, this elderly lady brought out a Bible. She took the very large Bible, opening it up to the first chapter. She had me read the very first verse, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” And then she had me read the following line, “And God said, ‘Let US make man in OUR image, after OUR likeness.’” And this nice lady then conveyed the idea that there were many gods.

(This particular version of the Bible may have even said “The Gods [plural] said, ‘Let US make man in OUR image, after OUR likeness.’” But I’m not sure if it did or not)

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

The Scream of Nature – by E. Munch – Wikipedia – public domain by edvard munch c.1893

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“AND GOD SAID, ‘LET US’!?!”

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Francesco_Albani_-_Apollo_and_Hermes_(1635).jpg.

Now I knew I was in Hell!

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I didn’t know hardly anything about the Bible. “BUT I DO KNOW THAT THERE AREN’T MULTIPLE GODS!!! WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!? WHO WROTE THIS BIBLE?!?” These were the kinds of thoughts which were running, no, RAGING through my head at the moment!

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So how could there be a Bible which said there were multiple gods!? Obviously I must be in Hell, and this was the Devil’s counterfeit, “Bible from Hell”!

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After all, I attended church as a little boy. I listened to the stories in the children’s classes. So if there was one thing I learned, it was that the world was made by one God, and only one God! Not by many gods! So more and more I was sinking lower and lower into a fiery abyss. And though there were no literal flames, these spiritual flames were every bit as painful!

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(If only I had been familiar with the Bible, I would have realized that God speaks of Himself as three persons, and yet as one, just as this verse reveals…“For there are Three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost: and these Three are One.” 1st John 5:7 If I had only known this blessed truth, I would have been spared a whole lot of grief and torment at this moment!)

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The Gods – Francesco Albani – Apollo and Hermes (1635) – Wikimedia – US Public Domain

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https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Clinton_09.jpg?uselang=eo

“NOTHING IS REAL, AND NOTHING MUCH TO GET HUNG ABOUT!”

(corruption of lyrics from the 1967 Beatles song, “Strawberry Fields Forever”)

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As we were leaving this lady’s home, we got on to Kit Carson Way. Normally, I would be really enjoying this nice fall weather. Fall in the Basin, is very beautiful. And bright red, orange, and yellow leaves are everywhere!

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Klamath Basin has almost no spring, merely winter into summer. But the fall here in the Basin, is very long and crisp and pretty nice, quite often.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Canoe_8179.jpg

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But right now, this beautiful fall season was the last thing on my mind! And after this shocking encounter with that “Bible from Hell” (or so I erroneously believed), I was really thinking that, yes, I was in Hell! Eternal Hell! But I couldn’t be sure!

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Anyway, as soon as we were on Kit Carson Way, a siren went off. And in the rear-view mirror, was a State Trooper. My friend pulled her car over, and waited in the car for the Trooper to come up. 

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Now I’ll have to say, my friend was a very gifted conversationalist. So it wasn’t long before the two were laughing and joking. 

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

rocky point oregon – wikimedia – share-alike license

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“THEIR FACES SHALL BE AS FLAMES”

Isaiah 13:8

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But forget all that! Because, as soon as they began talking, I immediately sank into some sort of so-called paranoia or psychosis, in which they appeared to be talking about the Hell I was going through! It was as if they knew all about my dire situation! And as they kept the conversation going, they began to appear as if they were some sort of spirit beings! And if that wasn’t enough, it was almost as if their faces were flames of fire, maybe! 

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Now faces being as flames, reminds me of a passage from the Bible, which prophesies… “they shall be amazed one at another; their faces shall be as flames. Behold, the day of the LORD cometh, cruel both with wrath and fierce anger, to lay the land desolate: and he shall destroy the sinners thereof out of it.” Isaiah 13:8, 9. Of course, this passage from Isaiah might be speaking of some completely different circumstance. But it sure seems to describe what I saw!

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I wondered if they were not really human, but merely two evil angels from Hell. Or maybe just imaginary figures. I couldn’t tell! It was almost as if they were computer-generated cartoon-like figures.

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And they kind-of just talked as if everything was a joke. Like they knew all about my situation, and they were kind-of snickering behind my back, at my hellish situation!

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“Maybe I’m actually in Hell”, I thought to myself, as I sat in the passenger seat, listening to these “people”. or whatever they were.

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CLASSIC CASE OF PARANOIA? JUST ASK OL’ SIGGY!

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sigmund_Freud_LIFE.jpgNow I know this all sounds like a classic case of extreme Paranoia.

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Just as ol’ Siggy! He’ll tell you!

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But I was so far down into whatever a psychiatrist wishes to call this… “Psychosis”… “Hallucination”…”Paranoia”… “Delusion”…”Batty in the Belfry”.

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Whatever one wants to label it. I’ll simply call it, “tormented with fire and brimstone”, thank you!

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Looking back, I’m reminded of that verse from Amos…

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Listen to Amos… “Woe unto you that desire the day of the LORD!

to what end is it for you? the day of the LORD is darkness, and not light.

As if a man did flee from a lion, and a bear met him;

or went into the house, and leaned his hand on the wall, and a serpent bit him.”

Amos 5:18, 19

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This verse, had I known it back then, would have explained my situation very precisely. Oh, not in a literal sense. But figuratively, I was being chased, and being bitten by a serpent! And there was no-where I could escape for relief. My judgment had come. There was no turning back! There was no-where to run! And definitely no-place in which to hide! Perhaps, if I went to sleep, my dreams would only terrify me…

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“When I say, My bed shall comfort me, my couch shall ease my complaint;

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Then you (God) scare me with dreams, and terrify me through visions:

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So that my soul chooses strangling, and death rather than my life.”

Job 7:13-15

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Sigmund-Freud-LIFE-wikipedia-US-public-domain

DEMONS-wikipedia – US-public-domain

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“WE WRESTLE NOT AGAINST FLESH & BLOOD”

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After this conversation, the trooper let her go, without a ticket. Then my friend resumed driving me home.

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Shortly, we arrived at my house, and she dropped me off. I can’t remember what was said on this ride home, but perhaps, it seemed like everything was said in order to torment me further. So whatever it was…I interpreted as very directed towards my condemnation…or should I say…my damnation.

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After getting out at my house, my nice friend drove away. I call her nice, because she was only trying to help. My problem was not with her, nor with any other human for that matter. My problem was with unseen powers…

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“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood,

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but against principalities,

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against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world,

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against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

Ephesians 6:12

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I walked up to my front door thinking about that Bible which the lady had shown me, “make man in OUR likeness…after OUR image…”?  Was that Bible I was shown, the Devil’s Bible? Could I be in Hell? Or maybe some sort of Purgatory? Or are these just devils in human form—sent to torment me?

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Saint francis borgia – exorcism – wikipedia public domain

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“THE RAPTURE…ONE TIN SOLDIER RIDES AWAY”

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By the time my friend dropped me off at home, I realized I was still on earth. My hellish terrors had subsided for the moment, as I recall.

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But I was totally unprepared for the next horror which was about to sweep over me!

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:View_on_the_Sun_above_the_fog.jpg.

Still reduced to a puddle of liquid from the previous experience, I entered my front door, and saw that no one was there. I don’t know how long it was till another wave of terror swept over me…

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You see, the entire west side of this house was made up of tall windows. And as I walked into the house I quickly noticed that a thick fog outside the windows was now blanketing the entire city below. And as I looked, seeing absolutely nothing but that thick layer of fog below, the overwhelming fear came over me that everyone had disappeared from off the Earth—everyone but me! 

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View on the Sun above the fog – Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license.

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https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Clinton_09.jpg?uselang=eo“GO AHEAD AND HATE YOUR NEIGHBOR”

(lyric from the 1971 song, “One Tin Soldier Rides Away”)

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“Could it be?” I thought, “Did the Rapture occur?”. And so I got on the phone and called the restaurant, but the line was busy. Could everyone at the restaurant be gone? Is the phone just dangling off the hook in the empty buffet? Everyone raptured—and I was left behind?

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And so this new wave of terror flooded my soul! Had the Rapture already happened!?

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And while this chilling thought shot through my veins, a song was just now playing on the radio. I stopped cold in my tracks to listen…

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“Go ahead and hate your neighbor…go ahead and cheat a friend…

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“Do it in the name of Heaven…You can justify it in the end…

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“There won’t be any trumpets blowin’…on the Judgment Day…

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“On the bloody mornin’ after-r-r-r…one tin soldier rides away…”

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Now I understood that this song was for me. Yes, I was guilty of hating my neighbor! Yes, I was guilty of cheating a friend!

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

 (Click either link). Paul Gustave Dore_Raven1 grim reaper wikipedia PUB. DOM.

Compiègne Musée Figurine – wikimedia – share-alike license

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LEFT BEHIND

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http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/df/Compi%C3%A8gne_Mus%C3%A9e_Figurine_01.jpg

Was I left behind? Was I doomed to walk the desolate Earth—the only person remaining in an empty world? That one tin soldier was me! I was destined to roam through an empty world, till I finally returned to dust! And then only to wake up in Hell…for ever and ever and ever and ever…for all eternity! Tormented with fire and brimstone!

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“…And the smoke of their torment ascends up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receives the mark of his name.” Revelation 14:11

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This song on the radio (“One Tin Soldier”) was like a Dear John letter written to me by God Himself. I was left behind! I was forsaken! The entire world was raptured away! Whisked away in one fate-filled moment of time! “Oh-h-h No-o-o!!!”

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Compiègne Musée Figurine – cropped image – wikimedia – share-alike license

 (Click either link). Paul Gustave Dore_Raven1 grim reaper wikipedia PUB. DOM.

 

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WORLD HAD NOT YET SHUT COMPLETELY DOWN

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Radio_studio_of_WBNI,showing_console.jpg

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I thought about… “why is the radio playing songs, if the Rapture has really occurred?”. Then I remembered that this station was recently converted into being a fully automated station! All song selections were done by computer! “So there probably isn’t anyone at the station!”, I thought. So this radio station was likewise void of human life! Now merely some computer, only playing songs designed to torment me! Oh the terror I was now going through, cannot be described with words!

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(EDITOR’S NOTE: I probably didn’t know the name “Rapture”, as I was not connected at all with Christianity up to this point. But on the other hand, I had possibly heard this term used during those years. I just can’t remember.)

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Radio studio of WBNI, showing console wikimedia public domain

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https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Clinton_09.jpg?uselang=eo“BLUER THAN BLUE, SADDER THAN SAD!”

(lyrical line from the 1978 song “Bluer Than Blue”)

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I once more looked out the windows, straining to see something down there below: anything that pierced through that thick cloud which had spread itself over the city below. Maybe a car…or a person. Anyone! But there was nothing! There was nobody! I then went to the front door, to maybe see a person in the neighborhood…but no one! The street was empty. Nobody in their yard.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:View_on_the_Sun_above_the_fog.jpg.

Another song began playing on the auto-controlled FM station…

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“Bluer than blue…sadder than sad…

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“You’re the only light this empty room has ever had…

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“Life without you, is gonna be—bluer than blue.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:The_Scream.jpg

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“…And when you’re gone…I can run through the house screaming

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“And no one will ever hear me…I really should be glad…

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But still I’m bluer than blue…”

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

The Scream of Nature – wikipedia – US public domain

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MY SELFISH, SELFISH WAYS!

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:The_Scream.jpg

Hearing these chilling words frightened me beyond belief! I immediately thought about how badly I treated some of the young ladies in my life. I was always looking to get something new! Never satisfied with what I had! Always wanting more! Adultery ran through my veins! And now it was my Judgment! Now I was all alone!

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Now I could run through the house screaming!

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I could even run through the neighborhood screaming!

http://www.wikigallery.org/wiki/painting_239298/Salvador-Dali/The-Persistence-of-Memory.

I could run through the entire world! And no one would ever hear me!

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Alone forever! Doomed to walk through an empty planet! Time would be meaningless!

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All the possessions that I cared so much about, but no one to share them with! The degree of terror which I now was experiencing, was totally off the charts!

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They had all been raptured away! Just one tin soldier left behind! Me!

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Maybe this was Hell?

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My Hell!!!

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“There won’t be any trumpets blowing

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On that Judgment Day…

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On the bloody morning after—

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One tin soldier rides away.”

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me.

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But how could this be? How could all these songs be such fiery bullets shooting into my soul? There were no trumpets sounding at this moment! But only the cruel silence of eternal separation from God, blaring louder than any earthly trumpet! Much, much louder!

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I’m not sure how long all this went on. Long enough for a very pointed and terrifying and very real drama to occur. One which I’ll never forget! I can still visualize this horrific scenario, and the abject terror consuming my soul at that horrifying moment!

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The Scream – wikipedia – US public domain

sand – desert – Persistence of Memory – Salvador Dali – Wikigallery – Public Domain

Compiègne Musée Figurine – wikimedia – share-alike license

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IT WAS ALL IN MY MIND!!!

.http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Chinese_buffet2.jpg

After a while, I decided to try again to reach the restaurant. I reached for the phone. I dialed the restaurant phone number. The calling tones sound. A voice answers, “Hello, ‘The — Buffet Restaurant”’—May I help you?” .

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And so I realized that this was not the Rapture after all! But that didn’t mean I wasn’t in trouble! BIG TROUBLE!

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Yes, even though this moment of terror was all in my mind. Yet it burnt down to the very depths of my soul like a fiery giant brimstone/hailstone/ball-of-fire from Heaven!

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“And there fell upon men a great hail out of heaven, every stone about the weight of a talent: and men blasphemed God because of the plague of the hail; for the plague thereof was exceeding great.” Revelation 6:21 

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buffet – wikimedia – share-alike license

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Judgment Day license plate www.devouringfire.com

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To go to Chapter 10, just click here…

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Ch. 11: Welcome Back…Hotter!

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My second trip to the “Ward 3600″ did not go quite as smoothly as the first trip.

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