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Click on image credit links below each photo, for licensing names/details/tags/etc.. Most images cropped/reduced in size

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May, 1980

(Roughly about 200 days or so, from becoming an Ex-Atheist)

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“LOOKIN’ FOR A POT OF GOLD!”

(Lyric from the 1969 Creedence Clearwater hit, “Stuck In Lodi Again”)

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Have you ever wished that God was like a genie in a bottle? And maybe you could get just three wishes: perhaps a long, healthy life, marital bliss, and a financial fortune to enjoy? 

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Well this little excursion promised to be just that! 

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Yes, maybe, just maybe God is perhaps a “genie in a bottle”, or some kind of a, “heavenly goose that lays golden eggs”!

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As the songster once sang…“Seekin’ my fame and fortune, lookin’ for a pot of gold!”

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Genie – Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license

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FACT OR FANTASY?

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Well, I couldn’t make up such a far-fetched and even crazy story; or maybe I should rather call it, “A true account”, which this chapter is.

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But I’ll simply report it like it happened and you can decide if you’re going to believe it or just decide that, “The writer of this chapter is out of his ever-lovin’ gourd (like this poor deluded individual in an insane asylum, depicted in this very old picture to the right”).

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Nevertheless, if you do decide that this is merely the work of a crazy man, never fear, you have plenty of established medical and psychiatric professionals who will backup your assertion 100%!

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Anyway, I’ll mostly recount this true little story, trying not to make too much analysis, and let you decide for yourselves…

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Insane Asylum – Wikipedia – Public-Domain

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CHAPTER 22

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“FANTASY ISLAND”

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“DE PLANE! DE PLANE!”

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We arrived at a little resort on the Pacific ocean. We parked our car, and went over to the little ferry, which would take us to this little island resort (not the island photo here, of course! Just a very tiny island).

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But just as soon as we boarded the ferry, the spirit began talking in a sort of mocking way, “Oh yeah, this is your fantasy! This is your fantasy!” And actually, it did somewhat remind a person of Fantasy Island. Very beautiful and jungle-like.

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So we boarded the ferry, and in a very short time, we arrived on the island. But the spirit kept telling me, “Yes Chuck, this is going to be your Fantasy Island!” And so I was somewhat anticipating a sort of exotic mystery (which would be a welcomed respite from the torment which I had been abundantly experiencing!).

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Maybe I was to find riches here! Or maybe some promise of future glory!

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Well whatever lay in store for me had great promise of being that proverbial, “pot of gold!”

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Photo Hawaii, courtesy Wikipedia under share-alike license. Link here to photographer, Julius Silver.

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FANTASY ISLAND TV SHOW

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By the way, for your information, Fantasy Island was a hit TV series, in which various people went to a certain resort on an unnamed island, to have some semi-magical or semi-mystical dream-come-true experience. And there was often a life-lesson which would be learned by the participants, by the end of the show.

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Carlos Montalban played Mr. Roarke, who orchestrated these semi-magical experiences each week. Well-cultured and always dressed in white, Mr. Roarke guided his guests into a fantasy which would often change the life of his guest…always for the better. Here’s what Wikipedia says about that show…

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WIKIPEDIA, CONCERNING FANTASY ISLAND TV SERIES…

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FANTASY ISLAND… Airing from 1978 to 1984, the original series starred Ricardo Montalbán as Mr. Roarke, the enigmatic overseer of a mysterious island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, where people from all walks of life could come and live out their fantasies, albeit for a price.

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Roarke was known for his white suit and cultured demeanor, and was initially accompanied by an energetic sidekick, Tattoo, played by Hervé Villechaize. Tattoo would run up the main bell tower to ring the bell and shout “De plane! De plane!” to announce the arrival of a new set of guests at the beginning of each episode – Information courtesy Wikipedia.

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Ricardo Montalban – Herve Villechaize – Fantasy Island – 1977 – wikipedia – public-domain

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“WHERE’S ROARKE?”…

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So we arrived on the island, and immediately rented a little bungalow. It was only $15 American dollars per day, which even back then, was a bargain for an ocean-front resort, not to mention, this was an island resort!

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And of course, I was totally focused on what the spirit had in store for me, especially with his suggestions that this was gonna be some sort of Fantasy Island experience. I wondered about what might happen, to make this experience like that TV show. I honestly was looking around to see if there was some sort of Mr. Roarke, or at least a “Tattoo”. But there was no Mr. Roarke here to conduct anyone’s fantasy, and not even a little “Tattoo” riding around in a golf cart! As a matter of fact, there was hardly even another living soul on this tropical island, as I recall! (Oh, maybe I was just not paying much attention to anybody but myself, and my own set of issues.)

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Ricardo Montalban – Herve Villechaize – Fantasy Island – 1977 – wikipedia – public-domain.jpg

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“WHERE’S MY FANTASY!?”

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It was obvious that the spirit had something else in mind. But what? I was hoping for something magical or even a mystical fantasy. After all, I knew I was dealing with spirits possessing powers beyond anything I’d ever imagined! And so, I knew these spirits were well capable of bringing about whatever was in-store for me!

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As I said, there weren’t very many people at this resort, as I recall. At least not on the week days. It was almost like we had the place to ourselves! But it was a nice place. Not a five-star resort, mind you. It was a very nice little island though (aside from the restaurant help, needless to say! I’ll explain a little further down this page)

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Ricardo Montalban – Herve Villechaize – Fantasy Island – 1977 – wikipedia – public-domain.jpg

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ALONE WITH THE SPIRIT

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Not long after we arrived, Becky decided that some other family members needed to be here. So she went back to Guatemala City. I stayed on the island.

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And so, with the spirit having such a gift of gab, and always willing to TALK MY EAR OFF, there was not a moment of boredom here, (nor of silence). And so I merely roamed the little island, sometimes sitting in a hammock, under the shade of a palm tree, and talked with the spirit. And mostly, I remember that he went over and over on this burning question, as to just who I was in a former life….Jesus….or Hitler. But I must say, most of the time on this so-called, “Fantasy Island”, he inundated me with the possibilities of me being Jesus (in a former life), and of all the glorious things awaiting me.

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“YOU’RE HAVING MY BABY”…NOT!

(Title from the 1974 Paul Anka/Odia Coates hit, “You’re Having My Baby”)

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But as I was sitting under a palm tree, he then began to present to me a big story of how, not only I, as Jesus, was reincarnated, but also other Bible people, namely Mother Mary. “Yes Chuck, Mother Mary has also been brought back many times over the centuries. As a matter of fact, remember when you talked your girlfriend into getting an abortion, she didn’t want to have?”

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

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“WHAT A LOVELY WAY OF NOT SAYING HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME”

(lyrics from the 1974 Paul Anka/Odia Coates hit, “You’re Having My Baby” with the word, “NOT” added)

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This inconvenient event happened a number of years earlier. I was an atheist. But I tried to convince myself that abortion wasn’t murder. In spite of that, the thought kept coming back to haunt me, that having an abortion would be preventing a life from coming into the world. So it was an undeniable fact that this abortion too, would be preventing a life: a human life from coming into the world!

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So upon deciding to have one anyway, I tried and tried to shake this thought, “Outta My Head!” But I couldn’t! I just couldn’t shake it! This inescapable and inconvenient truth kept coming back again and again to torment me, even though I was pretty much an atheist, back in those years! I would be preventing a life from coming into the world. Dirty rotten MURDER!

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In my heart of hearts, I knew it was!

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But on the day of the scheduled abortion, my girlfriend had a miscarriage (at least that’s what I was told at the time.) “That little girl you had, or should I say, almost had, was the soul of Mother Mary. You killed Mother Mary, Chuck! God was going to bring Mother Mary back into the world! And you killed her! You murdered Mother Mary!” The spirit was now telling me, that my insistence on her having an abortion put a stress on her, ultimately causing my girlfriend to have the miscarriage.

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And so began the spirit to bombard me with guilt about this sad chapter in my past. “Do you know what that little girl’s name was going to be that you killed? I had never really thought about this. “You were going to name her “Heather”.

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At this point I felt horrible! Not only was I responsible for that miscarriage, but that child had the soul of Mother Mary! And now the spirit was personalizing this by telling me the name that would’ve been given her: Heather!

(NOTE: As I look back on this episode, it seems that this horrible scenario presented to me by the spirit, was possibly a somewhat bizarre twist on that old anti-abortion argument…”What if Joseph had convinced the Virgin Mary into having an abortion of the Savior of the World?”)

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To explore deeper into this subject, please read…“The 6th Head of the Antichrist Beast: Cruel Compassion Regarding Abortion” or you can also read this…“Hands That Shed Innocent Blood: “God’s Providence in the Womb”

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The Madonna in Sorrow – wikipedia – public domain

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DIS-FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING…

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Anyway, I was wearing a ring my former girlfriend had once given me. It was a gold band with my birth-stone.

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The spirit began coming down on me hard, about how I treated her. “And she gave you that ring with all her love, you schmuck! And all you gave her was that tiny diamond ring! You no good piece of…” s#!@&t !”

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All I could do was just to take this verbal whipping! And oh man, was I feeling really low! A real creep was I!

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The Madonna in Sorrow – wikipedia – public domain

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GHOST FROM PAST…

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Then the spirit reminded me of an incident which I went through a few years earlier, when an old public-school friend from back in Salem came by to visit me while I was working at the restaurant. He just showed up one day at our family restaurant. (This incident was in about 1976 or so, 3 or 4 years prior to this Island experience.)

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This old friend was dressed all in white: peasant shirt and pants. Clothes you might expect to see on a person living in the tropics. And now that I think of it, he did say he was currently living somewhere in the Hawaiian Islands.

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RING OF FIRE… My old friend was saying some strange things! And at one point, he saw this very same ring now being discussed. He told me it was a very special ring, and that it glowed with an aura emanating from it. He asked if I would take it off. So I did, and gave it to him. He started dancing around the back banquet room (which was closed off to the public at that moment), holding up this ring above his head, saying weird things about the ring: saying that the ring glowed with some supernatural light! He talked about the ring as if it was of great importance. He then climbed on one of the banquet room chairs, and held the ring as high as he could. He was saying something about the ring being “very high” or something like that. Making such a big deal about a ring!

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“Poor guy”, I thought, “He’s really flipped out!” My old school buddy and his white suit was totally “off his rocker”!

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Now, years later, on this so-called Fantasy Island, the spirit was reminding me of this incident from the 70’s, with my old friend and this ring. “He was prophesying to you Chuck. I was controlling him. He was telling you how precious was the love given you by that girl!” I had little trouble accepting what the spirit was telling me. As a matter of fact, I still believe that my old friend in white was being led by spirits. His behavior was so bizarre that day, I can’t attribute it to anything else!

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”THIS “GOLDEN” RING DOESN’T SHINE FOR ME ANYMORE”…

(play on lyrics from 1965 hit song by Gary Lewis & The Playboys, “This Diamond Ring”)

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“I want you to take that ring and toss it into the ocean! Toss it, you no good p#$&%S%$T” I began to walk down to the black-sand beach which was only a hundred yards away, looking at this “special ring”, overwhelmed with guilt of how I rejected her love… “God really hates you because of how you treated her! And she only gave you love! Toss that ring you no good SOB!! TOSS IT!!”

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And so I took this nice ring and tossed it as far as I could…into the ocean.

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I really felt bad about the way I treated almost all my girlfriends. And I really never realized how heartless I could be at times.

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Belize – wikipedia – share-alike license

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CHANGED

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Well, these flashbacks of the past ended, perhaps as quickly as they began.

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And I must admit, because of this experience (and others), I became a changed person. In the future, I would try to be more honorable. Not that I was perfect, because I wasn’t.

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Just better.

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Belize – wikipedia – share-alike license

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”LUNCH IS SERVED”…

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Now Becky arrived the next day with her family. So things became much more lively.

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And this little island had several large swimming pools, and an open-air restaurant. Becky’s parents also came there. We all had lunch on this nice restaurant patio overlooking the ocean, just a few hundred feet away, or less.

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Belize wikipedia share-alike license. By Eseiglihp. (Sunset on Caye Caulker). Click here for link.

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“CHICKEN-SALAD SANDWICH, PLEASE…AND…UH…HOLD THE FLIES!”

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The waitress took our order. They ordered Spanish food. I, being from the good ol’ U.S. of A., ordered a chicken salad sandwich. The waitress soon brought our food. I opened my chicken salad sandwich to inspect it. Upon opening it, I saw a big fat oversized black fly still in mint condition, laying there in the chicken salad, hidden under the bread. I lodged my complaint in English, and it was interpreted to the waitress And after a little discussion, Becky interpreted to me that the waitress replied, “Just take it out”. I objected. And my objection was interpreted back to the waitress, saying that I wanted another sandwich (Which, of course, would be standard procedure back in the states!)

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In a few minutes she came back with “another sandwich”. I opened it, and thankfully, there was no large fly in it. But upon closer examination, I noticed an indent, very suspiciously in the exact same spot where the fly was located in the “other” sandwich! And after thinking about it for a few moments, I gave up and decided to make no further objections… and just shut up and eat the stupid sandwich!

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Now why am I telling this little story? I don’t know. I just think it’s a funny story, even though it wasn’t so funny at the time.

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But anyway, in a few days I would be eating something far worse than flies!

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Chicken Salad Sandwich – Wikipedia – Share-Alike License

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WHERE’S DE FANTASY, MR. ROARKE?

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After a few more days, Becky and I got back on that same ferry which brought us to this island. And in a few minutes we were back on the mainland.

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But I guess it was kind of anticlimactic at that time, considering how I was led to believe this was going to be some sort of fantasy. But that’s what happened. I was somewhat disappointed that nothing semi-magical happened, like it often did on that TV show.

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And there was no little fella named Tattoo running around the island either.

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And no Roarke!

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And no “pot of gold”!

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And no promise of future glory!

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Ricardo Montalban – Herve Villechaize – Fantasy Island – 1977 – wikipedia – public-domain

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“WHERE’S DE ISLAND!?”

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And if that isn’t enough of a wash-out story, I just found out (as I’m writing this) another disappointing fact. WE WEREN’T EVEN ON AN ISLAND! We merely took a ferry across an OUTLET OF WATER ALONG THE COASTLINE BECAUSE IT HAD NO BRIDGE! We were actually still on the mainland of Guatemala.

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What a disappointment!… NOT ONLY WAS THERE NO FANTASY… THERE WASN’T EVEN AN ISLAND!!! 

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Ricardo Montalban – Herve Villechaize – Fantasy Island – 1977 – wikipedia – public-domain

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“WHERE’S DE RESORT!?!”

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Now if that’s still not enough of a wash-out, I was also later informed that some time after we left there, a big Pacific storm came along and completely destroyed the entire resort!

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Well, it serves them right for sticking that fly in my chicken salad sandwich! Not really! Just kidding! Just kidding! Actually, I would eagerly and enthusiastically go back there, flies or no flies! It was a really nice and inexpensive resort! (Well, of course, I did lose that beautiful and expensive gold ring. And oh yeah, I also went to sleep with a lit Marlboro in my hand on the last day, and caught my mattress on fire, which I paid for.)

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Ricardo Montalban – Herve Villechaize – Fantasy Island – 1977 – wikipedia – public-domain

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”DON’T GO ‘ROUND TONIGHT…

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IT’S BOUND TO TAKE YOUR LIFE!”

(Lyric from the 1969 Creedence Clearwater hit, “Bad Moon On The Rise”)

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When we arrived back home at Becky’s parents, the weather became cloudy. During a dark night, there was a thunderstorm. I went up on the roof, because I learned by experience, that the spirit would answer questions using the lightning.

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And up there. all alone on that roof, it seemed like I could see across all the houses and townhouses for blocks. The night looked like one of Van Gogh’s more dreary paintings! And the lightning put on a show for free!

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In the distance, the electric air and the kaboom of the lightning caused the dogs around the city to bark and howl, which only made things that much more eerie! And as I said, the spirit would answer simultaneous to the lightning flashing. So I would ask something concerning whether I was Hitler or Jesus, and other such things. I could perceive no time delay between the lightning flash and his answer in my mind. His answers would be either “yes”, or “no”. If he didn’t want to answer, he didn’t say anything.

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I’m not sure how many nights this went on. Maybe just that one night. But I was bombarded with guilt over the miscarriage I caused, which resulted in the death of “Mother Mary’s” reincarnated soul. Of course by now, I didn’t know what to believe at this point. This spirit was as changeable as a fickle teenager.

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Cloud-to-ground_lightning2_-_NOAA-wikimedia-public-domain.jpg

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”I SEE EARTHQUAKES AND LIGHTNING”…

(Lyric from the 1969 Creedence Clearwater hit, “Bad Moon On The Rise”)

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One night, Becky and I were going to her Father’s church service. He had a very active church, which met seven nights a week, plus twice on Sunday! And as usual, there were many people gathered together on this weeknight service. Of course I couldn’t understand anything they said. It was all in Spanish. But there was lots of music, lots of singing, and an abundance of hand-clapping!

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KA-BOO-O-O-M…

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After much music and singing, it came time for Papa to begin preaching. During the service, the lightning began to flash outside. They had left the entry double-doors open, so I thought I would use this opportunity to ask the spirit more questions, and wait for the lightning and the spirit’s response. I figured that such a holy place as church might be the perfect place to get the answer I needed. And so I would look back at the open doors and ask a question, and wait for the lightning to flash. Now I can’t remember exactly what was happening right at the moment, as far as the church service. But I distinctly remember asking the question “Did I really kill the Mother Mary?” The lightning would flash, and a simultaneous answer would come, “Yes!”, or “No!”.

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“SPEAKING WORDS OF WISDOM, ‘LET IT BE'”

(Lyrics from Paul McCartney song “Let It Be”)

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And as I recall, I repeated this question several times. “Did I kill Mother Mary?…..Did I kill Mother Mary?” And about the second or third time…as soon as I asked the question, The spirit shouted, “NO-O-O-O-O-O!!”… and simultaneous to his answer, both the lightning and thunder cracked so loud, it was both blinding and deafening!

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But at the very same moment as that answer, the lightning completely turned the neighborhood white with the loudest crack you might have ever heard, resulting in the lights going out in the church and throughout the entire neighborhood!

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The lightning had caused the lights in the church and all through the neighborhood to go completely out! Now I was convinced that somehow the spirit had control over the lightning, in some way.

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Needless to say, the power outage brought the church service to a screeching halt! The noise of the service was quickly replaced by questioning voices throughout this darkened sanctuary. At least for 20 or 30 minutes, the service had ended until the power came back on throughout the neighborhood. Until it did come back on, everyone went outside the church in order to wait.

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As I said, the spirit shouted “NO-O-O!!”, totally in-sync with the lightning flash/thunder and the neighborhood power-outage. This was a loud answer from Heaven, as far as I was concerned. “NO” came the answer I was hoping for! “NO” I didn’t kill Mother Mary, after all!

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But then the spirit began to somewhat confuse the issue by saying, “Did God say “NO!”, or did He say, “KNOW!”???

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Well, what could I do with such an ominous and confusing answer as this? And so, I decided to just, “Let it be”.

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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

The Madonna in Sorrow – wikipedia – public domain

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GOD NOT A MAGIC GENIE!

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Nevertheless, that lightning storm put the “final lid down tight” on all this “Me killing Mother Mary” nonsense!

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But also, this excursion to “Fantasy Island” put the final “cork in the bottle” on all this idea about God being some sort of, Ponzi-scheme”, in which you stroke some brass lamp, and “VOILA!”, a magic genie appears and offers you three wishes!

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No, as we left, I was disappointed there was no mystical experience!

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No earthly riches!

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No promise of future glory!

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Only the knowledge of what a miserable wretch and scoundrel I really had been through much of my “adult” life! 

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Genie – Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license

Ricardo Montalban – Herve Villechaize – Fantasy Island – 1977 – wikipedia – public-domain

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To go to next Chapter, just click here…

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Ch. 23  CHAPTER 23… . “ON A TRAIN BOUND FOR NO-WHERE”…  

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This was more than just a bumpy ride! This was an excursion to No-Where’s-Ville!