Ch. 12: “And then it still ain’t over”…

By admin On December 8th, 2012

 

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“HERE’S A LITTLE RIDDLE!

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Here’s a riddle that I heard many long years ago, when I was just a young boy:

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Pretend that you’re locked inside of a prison cell. This prison cell is made out of very thick and solid steel. ThisThe_Scream Wikipedia public domain by edvard munch c.1893 prison cell has no windows or doors. The warden of the prison can’t hear you, and frankly, doesn’t even want to hear you! He actually wants you to remain there forever!

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Now the question is this: How do you get out? (Remember, there’s no windows or doors.) And no, it’s not the answer that I heard to this riddle as a boy, “You run around in circles till you wear yourself out!” No, this is a serious question. Because there are many people who are actually in such an iron prison-cell, of one kind or another. And they feel as if their situation is hopeless.

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Well, if you read this article, you find the answer to this riddle. Because on this fateful morning I was in such a prison cell. And to top it off, I was looking to do time in the Devil’s Prison…Hell!!!!!! And there was gonna be NO parole for good behavior in the Devil’s prison! I was looking at a jail sentence of life+eternity! In hell-fire! In eternal torment! For ever and ever and ever and ever and ever……..And the jailer of that prison-house couldn’t care less about my happiness! His only desire was to make me to suffer as intensely as he possibly could!

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CH. 12: “AND THEN IT STILL AIN’T OVER”

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THE NEXT MORNING…COMPLETE DEFEAT…

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In theUnit 3600 Judgment Day RX-7 morning, I lay in the ash-heap of defeat! My life as empty as my lock-down room! I miserably lost this chess-game with the Devil! A complete failure! Humanity was doomed! All was hopeless on this cold, cold day in December!

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checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

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The representatives (the few who were left) were getting ready for discharge, it seemed. The “Shah” was probably in the Intensive Care Unit by now, or so I thought. But the Ayatollah was on TV, still looking as strong and defiant as ever! The 52 hostages were still being held captive. All four of my suicide attempts were miserable failures!

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HEAVEN AS BRASS

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As for God, well, He was nowhere to be found! He was far, far, away! And Heaven had brass doors! Nothing could penetrate those thick doors of brass! Nothing! Certainly not my prayers! Maybe someone else’s prayers. But not mine! At least, that’s how it seemed at the moment. It was like this following Bible passage…

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“The LORD shall send upon thee cursing, vexation, and rebuke…And thy Heaven that is over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee shall be iron.” Leviticus 28:20, 23

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Yes, the earth under me was iron, and the Heaven above was as brass over me! Hell was my destination! Death was the vehicle that would take me there! The Angel of Mercy had taken flight! Words cannot describe the hopelessness that was crushing me at this moment!

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EVEN AN ATHEIST HAS UNBELIEF TO COMFORT HIM (OR HER)!

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At least an atheist has his disbelief of the Bible and his self-deception to keep his sanity in tact! An eternity of nothingness would be a blessing compared to an eternity of fiery punishment under the ruler of Hell, the Devil!

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Of course, that atheist will one day discover his (or her) atheism was only just a lie, perpetrated by the Father of Lies, i.e., the Devil (Satan)! But for the time-being, he (the atheist) can merely drink himself into a fog, to try to forget about his (or her) inevitable date with death!

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But now I was destined to dance with the Devil! Or should I rather say, he was destined to dance on top of me! Like this picture to the right!

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I was truly locked in an iron room with no doors or windows! There was no way out! An eternity of hell-fire was my punishment; and all its guests eagerly waiting my arrival! This was their only joy: to welcome one more miserable wretch to share in their eternal misery and suffering!

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Hell’s Torment and Tormentor Wikipedia public domain

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I’M SO LONESOME…NO…I’M SO TERRIFIED!

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Yes, ol’ Hank was right! That midnight train was indeed, winding low! But I wasn’t so lonesome I could cry! No! I was so terrified that I could break in pieces like an icicle hitting the floor! But as I said, that midnight train was pulling into the station. And there was one empty seat….with my name on it!

.http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hans_Baluschek_Anfahrender_Schnellzug_1909.jpg?uselang=fr

The conductor driving this train was that infamous Grim Reaper! And his piercing, fiery, lazar-like eyes, were no doubt, darting straight in my direction! Piercing though the dark night of my hopeless fate! And he was, no doubt, grinning from ear-to-ear, at the prospects of snatching my soul away…casting it mercilessly down, down, down; Down deep into that fiery cavern somewhere in the Land of Forgetfulness!

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“The same (those with the mark) shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb: And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his (the Devil’s) name.” Revelation 14:10, 11.

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Yes, as this passage plainly reveals, there’s no let-up for those who served the “god of this world”, in this life! Yes, I had served the gods of selfishness! And now the smoke of my torment would rise up forever and ever! And Jesus and His holy angels would stand there and watch me (and countless others) suffering in flames of fire for all eternity!

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Train at Station – Hans Schnellzug – 1909 – wikimedia-public – domain

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RAY OF HOPE IN THE DARKNESS…

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As I sat there in an icy and frozen state of shock and horror, the thought came to me that I should pray for a second chance.

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Pray for another chance!!!????

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Well…..what harm could there be to pray? It’s a one-in-a-million shot!

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So I got up, and went into my room. I got down on my knees on that hard, cold, mental-ward floor, where just a day earlier, I tried to crush out my life. (Unbeknownst to me, the morning Sun was just bow rising slowly and steadily.) And there on that unforgiving floor, I knelt.

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I had lost all earthly hope! (Slowly and steadily and faithfully, the bright morning Sun was now rising.)

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I didn’t know who God is. (The Sun still rising up, closer and closer, almost coming up over the hospital buildings). But prayer was all I had left!

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And I began to pray… “Oh God! Give me another chance! Have mercy on me, oh God…” (The Sun now rising up above the hospital buildings. Finally a beam of light flashed into this pale hospital-green cell. And as it did, this ray of hope hit the metal mesh security screen on my window.)

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And like a Lazer beam, there instantly flashed the most beautiful cross on the window screen! Like a heavenly messenger of light!

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I got up off my knees. And I saw the light. It flashed like the gleaming sword of a rescuing angel of mercy! (Similar to this photo) It was as big as the window, maybe two feet wide by four feet high. But it was big enough to get the message across to me.

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SIGNS OF HEAVEN?…

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As I looked at this ray of hope; this symbol of mercy and love, I began to wonder if this was a sign from Heaven. “Could this be the answer I was looking for?”

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I walked cautiously to the small window of my door, and peered out at the nurse’s station. I saw what I assumed were the remaining representatives bustling back to their rooms! The entire ward seemed astir! Could they be getting ready for a second contest? Could it be?… could it actually be, that God had heard my prayer?

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Photo of star-crosses courtesy NASA & Wikipedia. Public Domain.

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THE SPIRIT RETURNS…

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checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.orgI began to feel a resurgence of the spirit! Hope swept over my soul, just as surely as that morning sunlight swept over those Canyon walls: those Grand Canyon walls which I saw that last summer! I went out of my room, cautiously making my way through the morning hustle-bustle of nurses and patients! I knew what I must do, with this one chance given me! I picked up a cue stick and began to shoot pool. The spirit was once again in control. The pool balls went into the pockets with razor-like precision (or so it seemed)!

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Yes! This was more than enough to let me know that the merciful God of Heaven was not through with me yet! I practiced. I moved in harmony with the spirit. Like a sword-wielding soldier, I whet my sword (cue-stick) till it was razor sharp (chalked up). I was wearing the Armor of God. I now had the full-body suit of the Armor of the Spirit. My mind fortified with God’s precious promises. And a force-field of grace was blazing around me! I was girded with the belt of God’s Word! I had on the helmet of Salvation! I had the shield of faith in my left hand! And the Breastplate of righteousness!

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“Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the Devil. ” Ephesians 6:11

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INSIDERS NOW CLEARLY RECOGNIZED…

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checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.orgA nurse came around and showed me her Santa Clause pin which she wore. She then pointing to other staff members in the ward who were also wearing similar kinds of Christmas pins. I took this to indicate that these were the “insiders” on my behalf! And this nurse was just tipping me off, as to just who were on my side…or should I say…just who were on the Lord’s side.

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But what would my tests be? What battle must I fight? And how would the enemy come at me?

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LADY-LIBERTY & LADY-BLUE…

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checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.orgBut wait a minute! What would I do? Most of the “chessmen” had been discharged!

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Well, that was not really going to be a problem. Replacements were on their way!

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LADY-LIBERTY… There was a young, blonde lady admitted to the ward. I heard that she was a nurse, who was having some sort of mental troubles. I was informed that she was a replacement representative, to replace those who had been discharged. She symbolized “America”.

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LADY-BLUE… I sat down at a table. The noise of the hustle-bustle died down in the ward. I sat there, not sure about all this that was just now happening. The excitement was soon replaced by calm. Eventually it was all quiet again. The noisy chatter gave way, once again, to the low hum of the heating/air conditioning system overhead. it seemed like I was all alone. I began to doze off at this large round table.

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All of a sudden, I heard someone screaming for help. The cry came from one of the patient sleeping rooms. It was the room of “Lady-Blue” (the really disturbed girl that represented the mental ward patients). I ran into the room. I was horrified to see her hanging from a long thin soft rubber tubing, that was somehow attached to the ceiling, or fire-sprinkler-head! Her round, contorted face was blue, from suffocation! She was just hanging there lifelessly! So I ran in and grabbed her body and lifted her up, while a nurse tried to untie this rubber hose. After a moment she was untied. She was laid on her bed. By now other techs were there. An effort was no doubt made to bring oxygen back into her lifeless body!

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She began to revive! Hallelujah!

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As far as I remember (And my memory is vague) was this my first RE-test? I passed? The girl who represented the mental ward was saved! Hallelujah!

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(Note: I’m not sure exactly when this incident precisely happened. I’m just fitting it in at this point. I really can’t even remember whether this was actually a test. But it fits well, so I’m gonna go with it, even though I’m not sure! But as far as this event happening to this young girl, it happened just this way, as I have recounted it.)

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ANOTHER TEST: SHOWING MY FAITH…

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“FAITH IS THE SUBSTANCE OF THINGS HOPED FOR, THE EVIDENCE OF THINGS NOT SEEN”. Hebrews 11:1…

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checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.orgThat night I was back in the lock-down room. But I was no longer in the leather restraint-straps attached to my bed. The spirit began to urge me to go out into the the main lobby. “OK. Not a problem” , I thought to myself. Go out into the lobby! OK! But the spirit began another test. He urged me…no he compelled me, to go out there naked! Now that was a problem! “Show your faith Chuck”, said the spirit. (I can’t remember if he spoke audibly in my mind, or just put thoughts in my mind.)

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So the spirit was urging me to show my faith by walking out into the main lobby naked. To show my faith. I really, really, really, really, didn’t want to do this! But if this would help me win the contest. Well, I was willing to do just about anything not to “blow it” again…

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“Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, and set Him on a pinnacle of the temple, And says unto Him, If you be the Son of God, cast yourself down… Jesus said unto him, It is written again, You shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.” Matt.4:5-7

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Oh that I had known this verse! It could have saved me from not only this, but other stupid things in the future! Yes, in this passage, Satan tempted Jesus from doing a really stupid thing. But Jesus knew it was not true faith, to do something like this. And this too, was not the way that my faith should be tested. But I didn’t know about this verse. Nor did I know anything about this concept. Because I never bothered to read the Bible.

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As I remember, the spirit indicated that he would help me do this, since I didn’t have the nerve to do it myself. And so I felt the spirit take control of my body. And after a moment, I slowly walked out into the main lobby. I kind-of involuntarily walked like a zombie, because the spirit was causing me to do this. And just as I did, the golden-haired lady who represented America walked out at the same moment. I don’t know who was more embarrassed, her or me. She quickly turned away, and returned to her room. I came back to my room. But after I did, the spirit urged me to go out once again. “Oh boy!”

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NAKED BEFORE AMERICA…

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checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.orgNow normally, I was not an ostentatious-type person. No, I was not into, say, wearing loud-colored clothing, or anything to stand out in a crowd. And so, to bear my nakedness in front of “Lady-Liberty” was a totally repugnant idea! And while on this subject, I must say, that disclosing all my weak traits and private sins on the Internet is likewise repugnant! I’m embarrassed about my past in many ways. But truth is truth! (And frankly, right now I’m being guided by a434px-Statue_of_Liberty_7 wikipedia public domain spirit to write all these events. So it’s not like I really have a choice in the matter!)

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A nurse quickly came over and led me back into my room. Back inside my room, she was trying to prevent me from going back out there. But the spirit was turning me back out again. “Show your faith Chuck!”, the spirit kept urging. The nurse said (with a chuckle) “you really have no reason to be doing this” (going out there naked).

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So when she saw I was determined to return back out there, she called for help. Shortly help arrived and I was once again put into restraints. This time naked! So there I lay. Tied to my bed with thick leather belts. Naked. All night long. And this time, they had a 24 hour shift of guards watching over me. I think at one point they put a bed sheet over me.

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Statue_of_Liberty_7 wikipedia public domain

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THE NEXT MORNING…

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The next morning, I was still there! The spirit still was not happy with just one showing. So he urged me to throw off the one sheet covering me. And so with checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.orgdoctors and nurses coming in and out of my room, I lay there naked to the world. Showing some more faith! People were coming in and out all day. Small conferences were being held there in my room. This, my lock-down room had become a miniature Grand Central Station!!

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I can’t really remember why, but the spirit didn’t allow me to move or talk. After some time in this silent state, I overheard the doctors say that I was in a “catatonic” state. But I knew it was the spirit making me still and speechless.

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I have since read in Scripture of people who couldn’t talk as having a dumb spirit. There’s even the Bible account about the father of John the Baptist losing the ability to talk, by God’s power, until John was born.

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But at this point, I felt that this was another test. And I wasn’t going to lose the contest over this test. So I just lay there, not deaf—but dumb.

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DIAPERED, BUT FULLY POWDERED WITH FAITH!

RX7.

At some point in time, someone came into the room and put adult diapers on me.

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At this point, the room cleared out. And so I just laid there, probably wondering what else was on my agenda for the day. After laying there a good share of the morning in my diapers, the thought came to me to simply climb out of this situation. That would likewise require faith! The spirit once again urged me to “show my faith!”. So I decided to go for it. So I just climbed out—by faith! And so I began to climb over the side-rails. But as I was climbing out of this crib-like bed, wearing my diapers, I realized that I must have looked ridiculously like an overgrown baby, climbing out of its crib (wearing nothing but diapers!). “Some faith!”, I thought, “a big baby climbing out of my crib!”

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Nevertheless, I was glad to be out of that situation! And so, after climbing out, I got my clothes on, and walked out into the main area. I guess I passed another test! Another test of “faith”, I guess! Hallelujah once again!!

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“AS THOU HAST DONE…

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SO SHALL IT BE DONE UNTO THEE”

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As I later analyzed this and the many other embarrassing things that happened to me up there in Unit 3600, I concluded checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.orgthat this might just be divine pay-back for some of the heartless things I did in my past. For instance, as I’ve already admitted, I still remember imitating the way a crippled girl walked, back in high school. I can’t believe I did that! But I did. And also, about a week before all this Hell had begun, I did the same thing to a man down at the club. I walked behind him and imitated the “funny” way he walked, just to make people laugh. Well, in the fourteen years that had passed between these two incidents, I still hadn’t learned my lesson! I was as big a fool at age 29, as I was back in high school! But now, a few months after the last incident of mocking someone, I was now cured. Now I knew that there was divine pay-back! Listen…

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“Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” Luke 6:38.

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So this passage has positive implications, as well as negative implications: the good we do…or the evil we do, will eventually be given back to us in our lap…abundantly!

.Unit 3600 Judgment Day RX-7

I lived as a fool, and now I was receiving a fool’s reward! I was reaping what I had sown! I was getting paid back in spades! It was now my Judgment Day! I was acting like a complete idiot! I was being “tormented by fire and brimstone”! And there wasn’t a single thing I could do about all this! The spirits were too powerful for me to resist! “…behold, therefore I (the Lord) also will recompense your way upon your head…” Ezekiel 16:43. And now, my Day of Recompense had fully come! And my past ways were now being returned back upon my head!

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APPLEWHITE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING…

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checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.orgLater on, as I was sitting at the round table, close to the nurses station. And as I sat there, Mr. Applewhite came walking by, being escorted by two men. One man on each side of him. He looked like a man being escorted to his execution! But Applewhite seemed as jovial as ever, with his wide-eyed expression, and big grin.

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As they were escorting him toward the exit, he beamed back at me, saying, “They’re taking me to Salem!”. This bizarre scene was disturbing to me! It was like some sick twisted scene from a horror movie! It seemed that the spirits were using Mr. Applewhitemarshall_applewhite to taunt me, making me fearful that going to Salem was in my future too! Oh man! I didn’t want to suffer the same fate as Applewhite! I didn’t want to go to Salem!

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But just before he rounded the corner out of my sight, he turned back and exclaimed gleefully, with a bright smile, “See ya in Salem!” This comment was like a sharp arrow into my side. The thought of going to the State Mental Hospital in Salem, and Salem being my hometown (I was born and raised and schooled in Salem) was more than I could bear. Could this be an omen of the future? More than you know. More than you know.

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marshall_applewhite Wikipedia public domain.

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“TWICE ON THE PIPES…

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…IF THE ANSWER IS “NO”…

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The doctors in Unit 3600 were now urging me to begin taking medication. Up till now I had refused drugs. checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.orgFor one thing, I knew that I had couldn’t be cured with pills. How can you cure spiritual forces with pills!?!

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The doctor that looked somewhat like Satan (or Satan’s representative) was telling me that Lithium was just something that came out of the ground. “Harmless”, he said. “Tony Orlando takes Lithium”, he continued, “And he’s doing just fine.” This comment triggered my memory. Because I had just seen Tony Orlando perform this last summer in either Las Vegas or Tahoe. Tahoe, I think. He gave an absolutely incredible performance! At one point in the show, he grabbed a rope, let down from the ceiling, and swung out into the audience, landing on the booths above where we were sitting. Then he danced and sang, skipping from booth-top to booth-top. And I remember well, whhttp://www.flickr.com/people/42274165@N00en he danced on top of the booth where I was sitting, he made like his eyes were popping out at my girlfriend, and pointed his finger at her. I didn’t know whether to be proud or jealous. I guess I was both. Anyway, my lady-friend didn’t mind. And after all, she really looked stunning that night!

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Photo of Tony Orlando courtesy Alan Light & Wikipedia share-alike license. Click here for link.

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But Orlando’s performance was so energetic that, after being informed by Doctor-Satan, that Orlando was on Lithium, I wondered if it was that Lithium which made him so hyper-active. As a matter of fact, as we were leaving, one of the waiters commented that this was Orlando’s best performance by far! But very hyper! And I wasn’t sure if I would like to be dancing on top of tables, if I too, took that Lithium stuff! Naw! Dancing on table-tops was not something I wanted to do! Nope!

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JUST SAY “NO”…

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But my not taking the drugs became one of the tests of faith. But the hospital wasn’t going to let this matter drop. So they had to get a court to order me to be given those drugs.

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JUST SAY “YES”…

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The day finally came when the hospital got the go-ahead to give me drugs. So they decided to shoot me up with a drug that would last for up to five weeks.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Fluphenazine3Dan.gif

Prolixon Chemical Compound

I think it was called Prolixon. I didn’t put up a fight. So in a while, the drug took its effect. But there was a side-effect to this drug that was intolerable! It made me uncomfortable, wherever I was. If I was sitting, I had to stand. If I was standing I had to sit. Or walk! Or lay down! It was like having Restless-Leg-Syndrome…but throughout every square-inch of my body! Not good! Not good at all!

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But there was a sidekick drug that counteracted the Prolixon. After some hours of this torment, they finally got an order for this drug. I took it gladly! And after an hour, That horrible Restless-BODY-Syndrome went away.

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Fluphenazine3Dan prolixon Wikimedia share-alike license

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The rest of this hospital visit was fairly tame. I had visitors. A few old friends from high school came by. It was painful for me to have them see me like this. But I was still glad they came.

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GAME OVER!

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Well, these two “tests” (saving Lady-Blue & exposing myself before “Miss America”) were the two last “tests of faith” that I can remember.

.checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

And so ended the Chess-Game From Hell! I don’t suppose it amounted to anything anyway. But I would say that I learned that to be tormented with fire doesn’t necessarily mean literal fire.

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“…and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb: And the smoke of their torment ascends up for ever and ever.” Revelation 14:10, 11

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And the smoke of my torment ascends upward to the throne of God. Because though it was severe punishment, it nevertheless changed me for the better, in the end.

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CONCLUSION…

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I would like to say that I never made an unkind remark or joke about a person ever again. But I would be lying if I checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.orgsaid that. Yet this experience and other similar experiences made a dramatic change of my life. And whenever I did slip with my tongue after this experience, I became very afraid. Very afraid! Cause now I know how serious such a thing is, before a holy and righteous God!

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And this is how I began the upward journey to find the Lord. But would I ever find Him?

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ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE

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Oh yeah! I forgot all about the riddle! Sorry! So how do you get out of a totally impossible situation, which seemingly has no possible earthly way of escape? How do you escape from that iron cage with no doors or windows, and no possible way of escape?

RX7

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Simple! You pray your way out! And if the answer doesn’t seem to come, you pray some more! And you keep on praying. And you pray, and pray and pray some more. And you never give up praying. And you humble yourself before the Almighty Majesty in Heaven. And you confess that you are a wretched sinner! And you wait patiently, believing, doubting nothing!

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And that is the way out of an iron-barred prison-cell, with seemingly no windows or doors. Because there is no prison too strong, nor bars so thick, so that God cannot hear your cries for help!

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“And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.” Mark 10:27

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https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Brooklyn_Museum_-_The_Bad_Rich_Man_in_Hell_(Le_mauvais_riche_dans_l%27Enfer)_-_James_Tissot_-_overall.jpg“Whither shall I go from Thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from Thy presence?

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If I ascend up into Heaven, Thou art there:

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if I make my bed in Hell, behold, Thou art there.

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If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall Thy hand lead me, and Thy right hand shall hold me.

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If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

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Yea, the darkness hideth not from Thee; but the night shines as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to Thee.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sunset_%26_The_Seagulls_(8576411741)_(4).jpg.

…when I awake, I am still with Thee…lead me in the way everlasting.”

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Psalm 139:7-12, 17, 18

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Brooklyn Museum The Rich Man in Hell James Tissot wikimedia public domain

Sunset & The Seagulls- Commons Attribution 2.0 license.

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.Judgment Day license plate www.devouringfire.com

To go to next Chapter, just click the following link…

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Ch. 13 “Silent Night”

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The spirit takes a vacation to get a much-needed rest, and I go to the coast!

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